Visual Impairment and Its Effects on Mental Health

Check out our latest vlog HERE!

Nora talks through visual impairments and their effects on mental health. Learn tips and tricks for working through impairments and how to improve your mental health today!

I have a passion for singing with people and helping them find a sense of hope in their most vulnerable moments. I believe that everyone has a right to be heard and validated. I use a client-centered, collaborative approach allowing the person the opportunity to discover the barriers that keep them from living their best life. In addition, I serve as a guide for the client to reach their own personal goals.

I enjoy working with people of all ages, including children, teens, and adults. My therapeutic space is always compassionate and non-judgmental to allow a safe and comfortable place to navigate and explore what is needed.

I am a member of the California Association of Marriage and Family Therapists (CAMFT).

The Super Power of Hugging

What if I told you that you have a superpower right at your fingertips? What if this superpower improved your overall physical and mental health, reduced stress and anxiety, lowered your blood pressure, and improved your communication? What if you only needed to use this superpower a few moments a day, every day, to achieve these results? Sound too good to be true? Well, read on to learn how to use your superpower!

Have you guessed what this superpower is? Hugging!

Hugging is so important that is has it’s own day of recognition. Yup, January 23rd is National Hugging Day, and while this is not a federal holiday, it is publicly recognized by the United States. Rev Kevin Zaborney founded it in 1986 in Caro, Michigan. This is a day where public displays of emotion are encouraged. It is an opportunity to notice those around you and to reach out and hug someone. As AT&T suggested back in the 1970s, reach out and touch someone!

Why is this superpower so important? Why is it necessary to have a National Hugging Day? Studies throughout the years have indicated that physical touch has multiple benefits, both physically and mentally. Can you remember the last time you hugged someone? Do you remember how you felt inside? Did you feel your blood pressure lowering? Did you feel less anxious and a little more safe and secure inside? These are just a few benefits of physical touch. 

Research conducted at the Touch Research Institute at the University of Miami School of Medicine has shown that physical touch may protect you from heart disease and reduce your chances of becoming ill. Your quality of life and experience of pain might be affected too. Lastly, physical touch can help us with our nonverbal communication, sending messages of love, care, and concern.  

Hugging can boost our mood, decrease feelings of fatigue, and improve our overall feelings of well-being. Something as small as a touch actually releases a hormone called oxytocin, also known as the “cuddle hormone.”  This hormone is responsible for reducing anxiety and lowering our blood pressure. The stress hormone called norepinephrine is also decreased when we are hugging someone. More commonly, this neurotransmitter is responsible for the “flight or fight response.” And a simple hug can have a significant impact on us.

Despite all the benefits of physical touch, our Western culture is slowly becoming touch-deprived. There are multiple reasons why this is happening. Increased screen time and distraction from our phones are the main culprits. We are also increasingly more isolated and have fewer opportunities to touch one other. Covid and the pandemic severely limited our ability to interact and safely reach out. All of this has had a negative impact on our physical and mental health. Research says that due to COVID, Americans want more space between us than ever. 

So how can we use this superpower in times of a pandemic or if no one is readily available to hug? According to self-compassion researcher Kristin Neff, Ph.D., hugging yourself is just as beneficial as hugging someone else. When we hug ourselves, we can still reap the benefits of an improved mood, reduction in pain, and an increased sense of safety and security. As Dr. Neffi states, hugging yourself “Gives a boost to our self-compassion.” We are more likely to experience an increase in our self-esteem and not be so harsh on ourselves when we make a mistake. 

Are you ready to break out your superpower and begin benefitting from hugging? Researcher and “founder of family therapy” Virginia Satir suggests that 4 hugs a day are needed for survival, 8 for maintenance, and 12 hugs a day for growth. If this seems too much hugging, start small and slowly increase your hugging as it feels right for you.

If you would like to talk further about the importance of touch and other superpowers inside of you or any other concern, please call the office to make an appointment.

LEANN GALOUSTIAN, LCSW

“Bloom where you are planted” - The Bishop of Geneva

My theoretical foundation lies in strength-based therapy. I believe in the transformative power of listening and being present in a safe and nonjudgmental space. When you take that first step and reach out for help you have already started the healing process. Therapy is a place where you can unburden yourself. As a therapist, I believe things will get better even if it feels like right now, things will never change. I can help you see the progress made and the inner strength reflected in yourself. You will learn the skills to empower yourself to go forward and face what life may bring. I specialize in Cognitive Behavioral Therapy (CBT), Acceptance and Commitment Therapy, Dialectical Behavioral Therapy, Mindfulness, and Mood regulation which can help to address your therapeutic needs.

I have worked with children, adolescents, and families who have struggled with depression, anxiety, low self-esteem, ADHD, substance abuse, trauma, and neglect. I have sat on both sides of the chair and understand what it means to be facing a crisis and how to move forward and regain your equilibrium.

My education includes a Masters in Social Work from the University of California, Los Angeles. Bachelors of Arts Degree from Cal State University, Northridge, and I was the University of Southern California Masters in Social Work Graduate Student Supervisor. Throughout my 10 years of working in the mental health field, whether it be inpatient care, outpatient mental health, medical setting, or authorizing mental health treatment for an insurance company, the goal is the same. Listen, be present without judgment and provide support.

I look forward to working with you as you begin your journey of healing.

Please, call me today to set up an appointment, 951-778-0230.

Stress-Relief Tips for Working Moms

It’s no secret that working moms are no strangers to stress. We have to balance the expectations of our workplaces, home, friends and family, and at the same time cope with the emotional rollercoaster of anxiety, guilt, frustration, joy, and all other emotions that come with motherhood.  It is important to practice some self-care in between all of the highs and lows of being both a mother and being part of the workforce. I wanted to share some ideas about ways you can relieve the stress that comes from living in both of these worlds (and the rest of the world around us- inflation, traffic, conflict, elections, social justice- there is just so much, isn’t there?).

1. Organize and Plan

   As a working mom, it can be quite difficult to keep tabs on everything. Taking some time to sit down, plan, and organize events with your family members can be a huge help. Oftentimes, stress is rooted in the fear of the unpredictable. Planning ahead and penciling in your own routine/family routines helps to provide less fuss and fight throughout the week. You might want to display your schedule or routine by keeping a planner and writing things down on a whiteboard or large wall calendar at home to display for all to see. (That makes the rest of the family become involved and responsible for their activities as well. That’s great for teaching kids coping skills and time management!) (And that moms have limits on time that is available)
   

2. Get Connected with Loved Ones

   Humans are social creatures, and we often crave that connection to others. Research studies have shown that kids who often feel neglected tend to act out more, and working moms often struggle with the guilt of not spending enough time with them. In order to reduce this stress, it’s important to find ways to connect and relieve stress at the same time. Along with planning ahead, take the time to enjoy the company of your child, family, friends, and community. Try a five minute sharing time daily, or fifteen minutes twice a week with your teen.
   

3. Set Boundaries!

   Every relationship needs to respect the importance of saying “no”. Working moms already have many roles to play and events scheduled on their planner. In order to keep from feeling too overwhelmed, it’s important to say “no” to the stuff that distracts or disrupts you maintaining your self-esteem, family unit, and success. It’s okay to say “no” to keep your peace. Remember that “no” is a complete sentence. No excuses or explanations are needed.
   

4. Practice Gratitude

   Working moms tend to have busy schedules that feel like they have no room left. Despite that it is  important to take a minute to practice gratitude. Research has shown that practicing gratitude can boost self-esteem, foster resilience, and can assist our children to grow up to be happier people. According to a 2008 research study from the Journal of School Psychology, children who grew up with gratitude practice reported more happiness, more satisfaction, and reported better social support. Show your kids that you are naming your gratitude in the morning and evening and help them do it too.
   
   

5. Practice Mindfulness

   Taking the time to practice a short minute of mindfulness helps working moms to press the pause button on their busy lives. What’s so beneficial of practicing mindfulness is its convenience. Working moms can practice a sensory activity while sipping on their morning coffee – noting the aroma, the heat from the mug, and taking a tasteful first sip. Working moms can also take the time to practice mindfulness while preparing dinner for their family or as they are reading a bed-time story for their children. 

I hope this was helpful – I know I need a reminder once in a while as well. If you need more information or would like to work with me I can be reached at Central Counseling Services, www.centralcounselingservices.com (951) 778-0230. I love helping working moms cope, parent, and thrive. 

Marika Lopez

Student I

Morin, A. 2020, November 11. How to Teach Children Gratitude. VeryWellMind. https://www.verywellmind.com/how-to-teach-children-gratitude4782154#:~:text=can%20be%20worthwhile.-,Research%20and%20Evidence,up%20to%20be%20happier%20people.

CECILIA FABE, ACSW

I believe that you are truly capable of overcoming life’s difficulties through thoughtful therapeutic guidance.

Dealing with life’s stressors can often be overwhelming, and continuing to experience emotional stressors can create a debilitating impact upon the relationship you have with yourself and others. Just because you experience these stressors, doesn’t mean you have to go face them all alone. Whether it be depression, anxiety, hopelessness, relationship conflicts, etc. I hope to be your trusted support.

My name is Cecilia, and I am a compassionate, empathetic clinical therapist. I obtained my B.A. in psychology from UC Riverside and my Master of Social Work from Loma Linda University. My professional experience includes providing individual and group therapy services in the outpatient setting in both mental health and substance abuse clinics. I provide counseling for teens, adults, and couples.

My focus is on providing trauma-informed care that is client-centered and strengths-based. I have the strong belief that treatment is focused on you, and that you are truly capable of overcoming life’s difficulties, especially through thoughtful therapeutic guidance.

I provide services utilizing Cognitive Behavioral Therapy (CBT), Dialectical Behavioral Therapy (DBT), Solution Focused Brief Therapy, Trauma-Informed Systems, as well as EMDR (Eye Movement Desensitization and Reprocessing) Therapy. I provide therapy in both English and Tagalog!

My hope is to provide you with a safe space to be able to work through life’s stressors and for you to feel supported, empowered, & capable. 

Borderline Personality Disorder and Relationships

Let's talk about borderline personality disorder (BPD) and relationships. The first thing we want to do is recognize the traits of borderline personality disorder. People with BPD tend to have an intense fear of being left alone or abandoned. Regardless of whether such abandonment is real or imagined, the individual may take extreme measures to avoid possible separation or rejection. These measures can include threatening self-harm, starting fights and arguments, and engaging in jealous behaviors. Unfortunately, these behaviors can cause an adverse reaction and cause the other partner to withdraw, which is the one thing that the person with a borderline personality disorder is trying to prevent.

BPD tends to make maintaining healthy relationships very challenging. A person with BPD tends to have a very black and white way of thinking about people, seeing them as all good or all bad. This causes frequently shifting attitudes towards others that range from extreme closeness and love (idealization) to extreme dislike or anger (devaluation). What this can look like  "I love you " now" I hate you" behavior.

People with BPD also struggle with identity disturbances. Their ability to be independent and autonomous is significantly impaired. They may also have constantly shifting ideas of who they are or what they want in life, including changing partners often, which can further uphold their unstable view of relationships.

Impulsive, risky, and often self-destructive behaviors are also common for those with BPD. This can include actually ending a healthy relationship. 

Suicidal thoughts and behavior are not uncommon for those who struggle with BPD. This suicidal behavior includes thinking about suicide, making suicidal threats, or carrying out a suicide attempt.

Another common symptom of BPD is emotional volatility, with intense mood swings ranging from extreme happiness to despair the next. They have a lot of trouble regulating their emotions. While these mood swings tend to pass fairly quickly, typically lasting only a few minutes or hours, they can also persist for several days in some cases. Behaviors associated with this can include starting arguments with your partner. These behaviors are very trying for the partner, and the partner is often left with little direction on how to fix it.

Those with borderline personality disorder often have difficulty feeling empathy for others. Studies have shown that those with BPD often have reduced activity in the brain regions that support empathy, leading to difficulty maintaining interpersonal relationships. This reduced activity means that those with BPD have difficulty understanding and predicting how others may feel in certain situations. Thus making the partner feel misunderstood and feeling alone.

 BPD is one of the most stigmatized mental health conditions. Borderline personality disorder (BPD) is a mental illness that affects adults in the United States alone. Those who develop BPD tend to begin exhibiting signs by early adulthood.

Let's talk about how one "gets" borderline personality disorder.

 Genetics might make you more vulnerable to developing BPD, but often it's due to stressful or traumatic life experiences that these vulnerabilities are triggered and become a problem. Either natural or fear of abandonment in childhood or adolescence, a disrupted family life, or poor communication in the family. Another factor contributing to BPD is sexual, physical, or emotional abuse from childhood. 

There is evidence that those diagnosed with BPD are more likely to have had a history of abuse or other distressing experiences during childhood. Studies have shown that 40% to 76% of people with BPD report being sexually abused as children, and 25% to 73% report being physically abused. Both physical and emotional neglect can also be contributing factors.

Treatment

With treatment and continual support from family and partners, people with BPD can have successful relationships. Dialectical behavioral therapy is commonly used with people who have BPD. A therapist will help you learn to respond to emotional situations with reason and proper judgment. This will reduce the dichotomous thinking (the belief that everything is black and white) that so many people with BPD have. 

Part of caring for a partner with BPD is understanding what they're experiencing. Understanding the level of emotional disorder they experience can help you respond in a way that protects both of you from other chaos.

If you have BPD or have a partner with BPD give me a call and let’s work together to create a healthier and happier relationship.

Courtney Whetstone, LMFT

I became a therapist because I want to help people who are struggling to change their lives. I work with clients in a caring and compassionate manner, and I tailor the treatment to fit their needs and goals. You are the most important part of your treatment - it needs to relate to your life in a way that works for you. I will challenge you to overcome the challenges you see in your life with support and positive feedback. My approach is working collaboratively toward a happier life for you by helping you make positive changes, including increasing your self-awareness and those barriers that have come between you and your goals.

My specialties include working with children and adolescents, couples, and in crisis intervention. I have experience in many areas, including family reunification counseling, anxiety, depression, and OCD. I also teach our co-parenting class here at CCS on Saturday mornings. Please call and set an appointment with me to help you develop  new tools to overcome emotional hurdles you are facing with strength and confidence.

Preparing for the Posts Ahead and FOMO: How to Deal with the Fear of Missing Out as We Begin Festival Season

All generations are now familiar with social media – from creating and sharing posts about their weekend adventure to sharing the next up-and-coming restaurant that just popped up. It is without a doubt that we all feel the excitement to share with our family, friends, and followers on the most exciting times of our lives, however have we ever taken the chance to reflect on that feeling that we are missing out on events, festivals, opportunities that others share on their feed? This feeling is called the Fear of Missing Out. According to VeryWellMind, The Fear of Missing Out (FOMO) refers to:

“the feeling or perception that others are having more fun, living better lives, or experiencing better things than you are. FOMO is not just the sense that there might be better things that you could be doing at this moment, but it is the feeling that you are missing out on something fundamentally important that others are experiencing right now.”

Essentially, FOMO is often exacerbated by spending time on any social media platform: Facebook, Instagram, TikTok, Youtube, etc. FOMO is phenomenon that affects people of all ages, as studies have also shown that there was a greater linkage to this feeling between increased smartphone & social media usage, regardless of age and gender. Research has also shown that increased feelings of FOMO detrimentally affect an individual’s sense of self-esteem and even envy.

So how can one take care of oneself as we venture on to warmer months, more vacations, more festivals, more social media posts? How can we minimize FOMO for ourselves? Here are some tips:

1. Practice Gratitude
   Oftentimes, we focus on our “lack mindset”. This means that we tend to focus on the things, experiences, people that we do not have. Rather, it is important for us to take the time to practice some gratitude – to change our mindset to one about “abundance”. With an “abundance mindset”, we take the time to name the people. Places, things, experiences, and so on that we are truly grateful for. With this, you can start a gratitude journal or simply take the time to practice some mindfulness and name these things to ourselves. With an “abundance mindset”, we take the time to focus on what we do have and the opportunities to follow.
   

2. Get Connected
   During this time, getting connected to our loved ones, including friends, family, and supporters, can be such a nice change of pace. Nowadays, we often get caught up in the speed and frenzy of social media, when we truly need to take the time to get connected either physically or through Zoom/FaceTime with those that we truly care about it. Making plans can help you with being able to conquer that feeling that you are missing out on life.
   

3. Journal It Out
   The benefits of this day and age is the accessibility to creating any kind of note at any time. With a smartphone or even with a regular notebook, take some time to jot down your thoughts both helpful and unhelpful. With social media, people are expected to share all the happy moments, however it’s important for us to process the moments that are the opposite. So whether your journal entry be about you promotion at work, you receiving a scholarship in school, or how the guy that cut you off while driving on the freeway was rude – journal it out to process.

Scott, E. 2021, April 25. How to Deal With FOMO in Your Life. VeryWellMind. https://www.verywellmind.com/how-to-cope-with-fomo-4174664

CECILIA FABE, ACSW

I believe that you are truly capable of overcoming life’s difficulties through thoughtful therapeutic guidance.

Dealing with life’s stressors can often be overwhelming, and continuing to experience emotional stressors can create a debilitating impact upon the relationship you have with yourself and others. Just because you experience these stressors, doesn’t mean you have to go face them all alone. Whether it be depression, anxiety, hopelessness, relationship conflicts, etc. I hope to be your trusted support.

My name is Cecilia, and I am a compassionate, empathetic clinical therapist. I obtained my B.A. in psychology from UC Riverside and my Master of Social Work from Loma Linda University. My professional experience includes providing individual and group therapy services in the outpatient setting in both mental health and substance abuse clinics. I provide counseling for teens, adults, and couples.

My focus is on providing trauma-informed care that is client-centered and strengths-based. I have the strong belief that treatment is focused on you, and that you are truly capable of overcoming life’s difficulties, especially through thoughtful therapeutic guidance.

I provide services utilizing Cognitive Behavioral Therapy (CBT), Dialectical Behavioral Therapy (DBT), Solution Focused Brief Therapy, Trauma-Informed Systems, as well as EMDR (Eye Movement Desensitization and Reprocessing) Therapy. I provide therapy in both English and Tagalog!

My hope is to provide you with a safe space to be able to work through life’s stressors and for you to feel supported, empowered, & capable. 

Do your friends tell you you need a therapist?

Check out our latest vlog HERE

Nora discusses the struggles and emotions that come along with being visually impaired and wants others to know they aren't alone. It is important to face these challenges and she helps clients combat them by using tools and different coping skills to fight them once and for all. Nora advocates for those struggling and provides a therapeutic safe space with no judgment to help clients live their best lives. 

NORA MUONGPRUAN, AMFT

I have a passion for sing with people and helping them find a sense of hope in their most vulnerable moments. I believe that everyone has a right to be heard and validated. I use a client-centered, collaborative approach allowing the person the opportunity to discover the barriers that keep them from living their best life. In addition, I serve as a guide for the client to reach their own personal goals.

I enjoy working with people of all ages, including children, teens, and adults. My therapeutic space is always compassionate and non-judgmental to allow a safe and comfortable place to navigate and explore what is needed.

I am a member of the California Association of Marriage and Family Therapists (CAMFT).

Accidents Happen to All of Us

At the age of ten I was in a fairly bad car accident. It left me with a broken nose and severe whiplash. By age twelve I was beginning to complain about neck and pack pains and by fourteen the feelings were daily. Throughout high school it was not uncommon to hear me complaining about my neck and back or constantly pulling and adjusting at my shoulders. At that time, however, it did not keep me from doing the things I loved to do, such as sewing, dance, and other physical activities. My homelife was also stressful at that time and days where pain flareups were worse, I often did little to nothing. Of course, doing little to nothing can be common in teenage years, but the constant pain on top of stress could drain the energy from me and leave me with no reserves for basic functions. 

I married and had kids young and the stress of this also made for difficulties in managing my pain. By the age of twenty-five and a couple more car accidents, I had finally had enough and sought more intensive treatment. I was given shots, pills, and physical therapy. All of which provided temporary relief (except perhaps the agonizing and daily requirements of physical therapy which took a long time to see lasting results from), and I was never one to want to be dependent on pills. I needed to reevaluate everything.

The Problem

Experiencing chronic pain can impact not only your daily functioning, but your mental health. Pain can have a significant impact on all areas of our lives from sleep to eating to even thinking straight. The populations with the highest rates of suicide deaths are those cited as nearly one in ten having had signs of chronic pain. Pain can affect the way we sleep and our quality of sleep, making our ability to eat and tolerate stress and frustration impossible, as well as decrease focus/concentration-related accidents. Sleep is arguably one of the most important basic functions we can do as humans. Our mental health is directly affected when we are negatively impacted by constant and persistent pain, creating a level of emotional hostility when we are preoccupied with managing even mild rates of discomfort. We become less friendly, experience less happiness, basic functional impairment (as discussed above), and increase our production of the stress hormone cortisol.

While there is a physiological and medical cause for a lot of chronic pain, it is important to critically evaluate your lifestyle and the way we interact with ourselves. While our mental state and emotional health may not always be a cause of pain, it is something well documented to have somatic implications on our physical health.

Why This Matters

Chronic pain and its emotional effects it can have in our lives can hinder our self-esteem, self-efficacy, and our relationships with others. This is important because we rely on the emotional (and sometimes physical) support of others. It can feel hard to tolerate being an emotional support for others when you feel constant agony within yourself. It can fuel undo resentment that is difficult to rationalize. It can cause us to be short-tempered, snarky, snappy, or completely unresponsive. Chronic pain can damage relationships as much as it can damage our self-worth and self-esteem. 

The presence of chronic pain can create and worsen our perception and interaction with others and the world by depriving us of basic needs as well as emotional wellbeing.

The types of chronic pain we all can deal with will vary from person to person and natural temperament plays an important role too. Our support system is another big factor which is why pushing people away for what we cannot control is the last thing we want to do! We may not be able to control how we feel at any given moment, but we always have control over our behaviors and the words we choose to express our pains and frustrations.

What Can We Do?

While the idea of managing chronic pain with no end in sight can be daunting as well as devastating, it is important to have a team behind you. This is your care team of professionals, such as doctors and therapists, as well as your support team such as friends and family. If pain management has minimal effects on comfort, such as those suffering with fibromyalgia or other painful conditions, having a solid care routine is crucial. Follow your medical doctor’s recommendations and advice religiously. 

You can also get emotional and mental support from mental health therapists that can teach you coping skills such as cognitive behavioral therapy, mindfulness therapy, somatic anchoring techniques, and exploring commitment and radical, unconditional acceptance. With support it can become easier to express your immediate needs, your limitations, and how others can best help you when you most need it. Through evaluation and inner awareness you can assess where your lifestyle can improve your quality of life as well as emotional factors playing into the worsening of symptoms.

It is important to remember we are sometimes overtaken by our intense pain, both physically and emotionally, that it is easy to overlook the good and where we can improve our own environment to support healthy functions.

Next Steps

What can we do next? Start with seeking support for emotional wellness and mental fortitude while you battle a force beyond your control. Seek someone who can help guide you through the mourning process and feelings of loss that chronic pain causes. Practice patience for yourself through this acceptance process on days you cannot do as much as you did yesterday. Use mindfulness exercises that help you through this acceptance process, but also allow yourself to experience positive moments throughout your day. While pain is experienced in the body, it is perceived only in the brain. A trained cognitive behavioral therapist can help put the experience of your pain into context and better understanding of your body. Your next steps may be daunting, but you do not have to endure it alone. Call me I understand you pain.

For The Love of Fido: Pets and Your Mental Health

Happy National Walk The Dog Day! Make sure to give the pups a little extra walkies time today. The benefits of owning a dog (or any pet) are well documented. Reduction in high blood pressure, increased immunity, manageable cholesterol levels, and a lowered risk of heart disease are just a few of the physical health benefits that Fido and Fluffy bring to your life.

The mental health bennies are even more profound. Studies suggest that owning a pet can reduce stress, decrease anxiety, help manage depression, and boost your mood. The day-to-day care of a pet can contribute to an increase in physical activity, long recognized as a healthy part of managing both physical and mental health. Doing so also gives you something to wake up and get out of bed for! 

Caring for a pet takes patience, diligence, mindfulness, and persistence. You’ll need to do research to determine how to set up the proper environment, the most nutritious food, and how to support your pet’s health. Doing the work of caring for another can give a sense of purpose and meaning to your life. Hanging out with your pet is a powerful remedy for loneliness, and their unconditional love and appreciation can be warm comfort to an aching heart.

It is said that people who struggle with depression have problems letting go of the past, and those who suffer from anxiety fear the future. Pets are a study in mindfulness, or the practice of remaining in the present. Enjoying bonding time, play time, or hand taming of your pet encourages you to live in the moment, to allow yourself the joy of the day, and to connect with the little being who seeks your love and attention. The practice of mindfulness is a frequent treatment intervention for such mental health struggles as PTSD, generalized anxiety disorder, and major depressive disorder. Plus, playing with your pet is just plain fun! Walking your dog can encourage you to get out in nature and soak up some sunshine, which significantly reduces depressive symptoms. Waving a play wand for your cat gets you moving about, great for easing pain and reducing anxiety. Feeding and maintaining your pet’s physical appearance is satisfying and rewarding, as you can immediately see the benefits of your work in their happy demeanor and shiny coat/fins/scales/feathers.

Let’s not leave out the kids! Owning, working with, or engaging in therapy with animals has been shown to help children with emotional development and regulation. A study conducted with children living with autism showed that having a class pet helped them develop important social skills; increased their ability to relate to their classmates; decreased instances of emotional overwhelm and behavioral outbursts; and significantly reduced their stress levels. Teens who own and care for pets typically struggle less with social anxiety, isolation, and low self-esteem. Grieving children with pets seem to process their grief more readily than children without pets.

Whether they have fur, fins, scales, or wings, having a pet can help you manage your mental health. If you cannot own a pet, consider other ways to get into contact with animals: dog walking/pet sitting, volunteering at an animal shelter or rescue organization, or helping a friend or family member care for their own pet. Do some research to find the best pet for your energy level, interest, and lifestyle. You can learn more about ways of managing your mental health in session with me or any of the wonderful therapists at Central Counseling Services. Call to book an appointment today!

~Alexia

10 Ways Pet Support Mental Health. (2018, June 1). Retrieved from the Newport Academy website: https://www.newportacademy.com/resources/well-being/pets-and-mental-health/ 

“Life knocks us down sometimes, and when that happens, we can all use a hand getting back up.

It’s my honor and privilege to be a helping hand when you are in need. 

I provide gentle guidance, an empathetic ear, and a safe, non-judgmental space to work through issues that make life difficult. I specialize in treating anxiety, depression, and struggles with trauma, especially as related to substance use/abuse (yours or a loved one’s), military service, and family troubles. In therapy, we will explore safe, effective coping mechanisms to help you manage life; examine and refine your self-care; and process those issues that cause you difficulty. Remember that you are the expert of your own life, so we will work together to find solutions that fit you best."

Alexia is also EMDR Trained.

Guarding Against Mental Health in Adulthood Can Begin in Childhood

Parenting . . . the struggle is real.

The best parents want to fulfill the needs of their children. Do they realize that means the psychological needs to be seen, feel safe, secure and soothed when it’s needed? Possibly. Some parents appear more natural than others.

As a parent, you want to do what’s best. It would be easiest if we could treat all of our children the same, however they are each unique individuals. Treating each of them the same will not do. Any parent that has tried this approach knows this does not work well and may have ended up in a big parenting struggle.

According to the American Psychological Association there are several different parenting styles:

• Authoritative – nurturing, responsive, and supportive, yet sets firm limits for their children. They attempt to control children’s behavior by explaining rules, discussing, and reasoning. Don’t worry – it doesn’t mean they always accept the child’s viewpoint, but the parent does listen.

• Permissive - parents are warm but lax. They fail to set firm limits, to monitor children’s activities closely or to require appropriately mature behavior of the children.

• Uninvolved – parents are unresponsive, unavailable and rejecting. This is a close cousin to Authoritarian.

• Authoritarian – is an extremely strict parenting style that places high expectations on children’s with little responsiveness. The focus tends to be on obedience, discipline, control rather than nurturing the child (www.webmd.com definition)

The authoritarian and uninvolved parenting results in children with low self-esteem and little self-confidence and seek other, often times inappropriate, role models to substitute for this neglectful parent.

Permissive parents tend to have children that are impulsive, rebellious, aimless, domineering, aggressive and low in self-reliance, self-control and achievement.

Ideally, we would have children that are friendly, energetic, cheerful, self-reliant, self-controlled, curious, cooperative and achievement-oriented that have strong emotional intelligence. This child of the authoritative parent. 

Great! Now that we’ve defined an effective parenting style how do we achieve this if we have not experienced this ideal parenting style in our own lives?

How are you consistent in method yet unique to each child? It’s a tough question.

The Nurtured Heart Approach (NHA) can achieve this parenting need.

The Nurtured Heart Approach was created for those helping the difficult or intense child. According to the creator, Howard Glasser, it’s about seeing what’s right in the child in front of you and using emotionally nutritious words to recognize them. The Nurtured Heart Approach consists of a set of strategies that assists children in further developing their self-regulation and has been found effective with children of all ages.  It focuses on transforming the way children perceive themselves, their caregivers and the world around them.  Children learn to understand that they will receive endless amounts of praise, energy, recognition and reward through the positive behavior they display and this supports children to build a positive portfolio of themselves, which we call “Inner Wealth™.”  

The basic tenets of this type of parenting are to:

• refuse to energize negativity

• relentlessly energize the positive

• clearly but un-energetically enforce limits

For more information on the Nurtured Heart Approach please visit www.ChildrensSuccessFoundation.com

An educator, Yael Walfish, wrote a book, Menucha for Menucha. (Menucha means peace.) It’s a book that shows a smart, creative young lady getting frustrated and how her parents explain the limits, recognize her efforts and strengths to control herself in her frustrating moments. In time, these intense moments lessen. She has success in resetting and eventually eliminating this behavior.

Through the Nurtured Heart Approach we can train our mind to see the good in everything and bring about a transformation where all children are flourishing.

What if we were to treat our children with respect and love, and also appreciate each child with their own unique strengths and abilities? 

Potentially, this would ward off many of the mental health challenges of adulthood. Using these techniques is a step in the right direction to helping our children to become adults that feel seen, safe, soothed and secure (neuropsychiatrist Dr. Dan Siegel’s 4 S’s), and then these same adults will be able to go into the world and do the same for others.

Win - Win.

~Amanda

Resources:

The Whole Brain Child: 12 Revolutionary Strategies to Nurture Your Child's Developing Mind.

https://childsuccessfoundation.org/

https://menuchapublishers.com/products/menucha-for-menucha?_pos=1&_sid=7d6056761&_ss=r

I provide counseling to individuals (adults and children) and couples. I’ve treated a wide range of challenges, mental health matters, adjustments to life’s hurts, and trauma.

Common trauma symptoms: panic attacks, chronic pain, rage, substance abuse, numbing, depression, nightmares, anxiety, and/or hopelessness.

When my loved one struggled with mental illness I received training and experience with leading classes for National Alliance on Mental Illness (NAMI) family programs and peer support groups. I am certified as an Anger Management Facilitator and SMART Recovery. Besides a Loma Linda University Master's degree, I have specialized training in Postpartum Support International’s Perinatal Mood Disorders Component of Care and Trauma-Focused Cognitive Behavioral Therapy (CF CBT).

Appreciating & Celebrating Black History Month

Did you know February is Black History Month? 



Black History Month is an annual celebration of achievements by Black/African Americans and a time for recognizing their central role in U.S. history. Also known as African American History Month. Since 1976, every U.S. president has officially designated the month of February as Black History Month. Other countries around the world, including Canada and the United Kingdom, also devote a month to celebrating Black history. While it is an annual observance that originated in the United States, many people wonder why it is so important. I often used to think it was about celebrating just simply being a Black/African American, but I have discovered it is so much more than that. 

Black history is rich and vast; it does not solely belong to blacks but has universal significance. Many of our American traditions and culture has been based upon the societal influences of Black/African American people which includes music, science, sports, literature, yet also has been affected by a long history of social injustices and inequalities. Therefore, as February comes around and we celebrate Black history it should also serve as a time for our nation to reflect and be introspective about our successes, but yet recognize the work and the journey is far from over.

As we have learned, while there has been significant progression and numerous accolades and advances in the Black/African American story, many issues remain to be addressed and one significant concern facing this community is in the area of mental health. According to the Substance Abuse and Mental Health Services Administration (SAMHSA) 2018 National Survey on Drug Use and Health, entitled Black/African American Communities and Mental Health, shows that African Americans/Blacks represent approximately Thirteen percent (13.4 %) of the U.S. population, however only Sixteen percent (16%) of Black and African American people reported having a mental illness, and over twenty-two percent (22.4%) of those reported a serious mental illness over the past year. 

 

Overall, mental health conditions occur in Black/African American people in America at about the same or less frequency than in White Americans. However, the historical Black/African American experience in America has and continues to be characterized by trauma and violence more often than for their White counterparts and impacts emotional and mental health of both youth and adults. 

Historical adversity, which includes slavery, and race-based exclusion from health, educational, social, and economic resources, translates into socioeconomic disparities experienced by Black and African American people today. Socioeconomic status, in turn, is linked to mental health: people who are impoverished, homeless, incarcerated, or have substance use problems are at higher risk for poor mental health.

Additionally, despite progress made over the years, racism continues to have an impact on the mental health of Black/ African American people. Negative stereotypes and attitudes of rejection have decreased, but continue to occur with measurable, adverse consequences. Historical and contemporary instances of negative treatment have led to a mistrust of authorities, many of whom are not seen as having the best interests of Black and African Americans in mind.

Why should our society care about Black/African American mental health?

We need to recognize mental health is a societal issue not one solely based upon culture, skin color, socioeconomic status, or ethnicity. However, because of the issues stated earlier, the prevalence of mental health in Black/African American communities is likely to impact most of our families in a significant way. Therefore, this blog is intended to be a resource, serve as a form of education and well as to offer hope to people in our society. 

What are some of the barriers to Black/African Americans getting help with mental health?

Attitudes

• There are stereotypes, misconceptions, and a stigma in our community that being mentally ill is worse than having physical ailments. 

• Black and African Americans hold uninformed beliefs and lack psychological openness, and help-seeking, which in turn affects our coping behaviors. Many of which are simply rooted in not having an understanding of mental health, where it comes from, and cultural myths such as being labeled “crazy”.

• Often in Black and African American communities the Church is placed in such high regard for providing help to for familial problems, mental health challenges, and therefore people are less likely to be open to seeking mental health services.

• Black and African American men are particularly concerned about stigma and there are so many challenges against them, that on top of everything else they are not wanting to succumb to another negative label.

Access

• Resources to healthcare and related resources are often limited to Black/African American families, thus this community is less likely to be aware of what resources are available. 

• Disparities in access to care and treatment for Black and African American people have also persisted over time.

• Black/African Americans often receive poorer quality of mental health care and lack access to culturally competent care

Knowledge and Education

• There is a need to acknowledge, inform, and provide solutions to the myriad of issues surrounding Black/African American mental health.

• Assumptions are made that mental illness equals crazy which equals hospitalization and medication as a requirement for treatment. Alternative methods are not often known. 

Treatment 

• Black and African American people with mental health conditions, specifically those involving psychosis, are more likely to be in jail or prison than people of other races. 

• Blacks and African Americans believe that mild depression or anxiety would be considered “crazy” in their social circles. Furthermore, many believe that discussions about mental illness would not be appropriate even among family. 

What are the ways Blacks/African Americans can tackle mental illness?

Compared to white adults, African Americans are only half as likely to use mental health services, and roughly 15 percent lack health insurance.

The implications of untreated mental illness can be significant. Mental illness is the leading cause of disability, and can cause severe emotional, behavioral and physical health problems. If you or someone you know suffers from mental illness, getting early treatment can significantly improve your health and combat the trend of undertreatment in our community. Here are four things we can do to make mental health a priority.

There are several important ways to address these challenges:

•  Do away with the mental health stigmas. Many African Americans believe mild depression or anxiety is considered “crazy” in their social circles, which creates a reluctance to talk about mental illness, even among family. Only 30% of African Americans believe mental illness is a legitimate health issue, and 60% mistakenly see depression as a personal weakness. These misconceptions are dangerous. Just like diabetes or high blood pressure, mental illness is a real health problem that can be diagnosed and treated. Left unchecked, mental illness can have serious consequences.

• Find a provider that can be trusted. This can be difficult for African Americans looking for cultural solidarity. Less than 2% of American Psychological Association members are African American, which leads to a perceived cultural gap in treatment, but there are providers who are trained and available to help. A simple interview can help clients decide whether a provider is culturally sensitive and right for them. Keep shopping just as a client would in finding the right doctor. There are many amazing therapists available to this community. Please check out our website at CCS.net for several providers who are culturally sensitive and experienced in working with Black/African American clients.

• Know the difference between physical and emotional symptoms. Many African Americans would rather be considered sick than crazy, and as a result, they are more inclined to talk about physical symptoms like headaches or digestive problems without addressing underlying causes like sadness or anxiety. Mental health begins with self-awareness and is contingent on the ability to talk candidly with a provider. Take stock in how you feel and make an appointment to discuss any red flags that are present notice. Treating minor problems today will help avoid more serious problems down the road.

•  Break the silence. Mental illness affects one in five adults, yet we still have a hard time talking about it. This irony is especially relevant for African Americans, who are 20% more likely to experience mental illness. Sadly, many are just as inclined to disregard mental illness as they are to treat it. Talking openly about mental health issues is a critical first step in normalizing problems, and this begins at home, in church and around the neighborhood. Shedding mental health stigmas is a community effort, and it needs to happen one conversation at a time.

Let us strive to live in a world where treating mental illness is just as important as treating heart disease, Covid or cancer. We need to work together to encourage a better understanding of mental health in the Black/African American community, and in the process, to embrace a culture of understanding and support for those who suffer. By identifying warning signs and seeking treatment, millions can improve their quality of life, and you can be one of them.

Effective mental health care for African Americans requires understanding, empathy, and confidence in what it specifically means to live as an African American in America, and in celebrating Black/African American history this month. As a Black/African American Counselor I have hope for our future and look forward to the day that more of our community obtain help with mental health issues and in the coming years there will be a changing narrative on how all Americans view mental illness. 

~Tosha, Associate Professional Clinical Counselor #7607

Regardless of the circumstances you are facing, it is important to know that you are not alone and we recognize seeking help takes courage. By doing this, you are one step closer to facing and working through the issues and challenges you are dealing with and I am here to help you.

I believe we are created for relationship with others and even with ourselves.  It is my desire for clients to discover how past and current relationships influence their behavior, thoughts, and feelings in order to bring about long-term change and healing.  I greatly enjoy working with children, adolescents, adults, clients with depression, anxiety, trauma, and low self-esteem. Also, I have a special focus in Christian therapy, should a client desire to include faith as a part of their work.  For many years, I was in leadership with a ministry called Celebrate Recovery, and I am thankful for the opportunity to walk alongside people during their addictions and challenges in their lives without criticism, judgment, but solely through unconditional support and understanding. I welcome these clients.  Additionally, I am proudly a Level 1 trained counselor in the Gottman Couples Method, use the Yerkovich’s How We Love couples therapy model while guiding couples at all stages in managing conflict and building a stronger friendship with one another.  Finally, I am a Southern California native who attended Concordia University Irvine where I received my Masters in Counseling.

What Does Thanksgiving Look Like?

Thanksgiving evokes from me a time to sit around a table with family and friends and talk about the year's past.  Since this time of COVID, I'm aware many of our family and friends may not be present, through illness, or they are fearful of getting together like they once did or fear someone has Covid, and of course, those who are not living any longer as those we had to say goodbye to.  So, I ask myself, “What does Thanksgiving look like now?” What does it look like to be thankful, have traditions, and gather with others in a Covid-19 world?

---

---

This year has been different in how we are saying goodbye to our loved ones– Hospitals limited us to only one person allowed to visit at a time. Clients have reported hearing the nurses say, "we're sorry there are no admits to this wing at this time."  

Another significant change is that we couldn't bury the departed like we used to. We had to do virtual services instead of in-person services. I observed, just last week, a gathering where I live that had been postponed for over six months. Finally, these folks got together in the dining room to say goodbye to the departed loved one; her friends and family surrounded the widow and began singing together. They told tales of her departed husband and brought pictures to talk about him and his life with her. No one should have to wait such a long time to grieve, but we all had to be safe!

I also see from TV and Social media "what the Thanksgiving holiday is supposed to be" –"What it's supposed to look like"

--

the perfect picture: turkey waiting to be sliced up, mashed potatoes,  veggies, salad, pumpkin pie -and, I am aware for many folks, they have been living on the street or living with relatives (if that lucky) or those who don't want to live anywhere but on the street, where they say they feel they are safer than cooped up in a rental apartment.

Their Thanksgiving looks very different than my Thanksgiving. 

Many people are generous, they choose to work in food banks or feeding the hungry on Thanksgiving. I've been fortunate to never find myself in such straights.  And, so I ask myself what "can I really do for the less fortunate ?"

There are many ways I can volunteer in my area: be on the food lines, help prepare a meal, help deliver a meal for that week, listen to elderly neighbors tell their stories, and so forth. 

As a therapist, I console others at times, assisting clients when they find themselves alone.

Not all of us have family, spouses, or close friends.

But in this time of COVID, we also are so isolated and alone, especially now as we all try to find some peace and resemblance of normalcy. 

As a therapist, I am genuinely interested in "their stories." Stories of family, children, their work lives, now-today lives. Take time to listen. Better yet, If you can extend yourself safely to your neighbors, check in with them in person or on Zoom, call them or Facetime.

Leave a piece of pie for them. 

Make that extra time to say hello or share a meal.

We have all had a tough year. 

May you enjoy the Thanksgiving you create this Season. 

~Judy

Judy provides Clinical Supervision at Central Counseling Services in Riverside. She is a Mother, Grandmother, and GG, and loves the work she does at CCS.  She enjoys trainings on the most recent theories in our work, and has specialties of working with First Responders, Trauma victims, and providing workshops on Prevention of Suicide with her colleague Sherry Shockey-Pope. Call us today if you would like to work with Judy.

Practice Of The Podcast: Episode 92

Sherry and Jill were featured on Practice of The Practice Podcast #92!

Listen in on their tips to growing a large and successful group practice that serves the needs of its community.

Listen Here!

For more tips on growing your practice, check out our Therapist in a Box Tool Kit!

Visual Impairment and Its Effects on Mental Health

Check out our latest vlog HERE!

Nora talks through visual impairments and their effects on mental health. Learn tips and tricks for working through impairments and how to improve your mental health today!

I have a passion for singing with people and helping them find a sense of hope in their most vulnerable moments. I believe that everyone has a right to be heard and validated. I use a client-centered, collaborative approach allowing the person the opportunity to discover the barriers that keep them from living their best life. In addition, I serve as a guide for the client to reach their own personal goals.

I enjoy working with people of all ages, including children, teens, and adults. My therapeutic space is always compassionate and non-judgmental to allow a safe and comfortable place to navigate and explore what is needed.

I am a member of the California Association of Marriage and Family Therapists (CAMFT).

EVOLVING AND HAVING HOPE FOR THE NEW YEAR

The COVID-19 pandemic has disrupted everyone’s sense of stability, structure, and sense of control. This long-drawn-out time of uncertainty, combined with the social distancing that keeps us away from family, friends, and normal activities, has taken a significant toll on us physically, emotionally, spiritually, and psychologically. However, there is hope for the New Year, and this blog can help you nurture it.

Hope is always important in our lives, but now it is more critical than ever. Hope can help you fight off depression and anxiety. Hope can motivate you to achieve your goals. Hope can help you be more resilient when we face challenging times. Hope can help you focus on the reality that you need to keep yourself safe by taking the health precautions recommended by the CDC and state and local governments.

Below are some helpful steps to take to reflect on 2020 and have hope in 2021:

1 st Step - Self-Reflect and Review Our Experiences From 2020:

•  Pause and Acknowledge – Speak in truth and acknowledge what our experience was like this past year. Recognize that there have been challenges, difficulties, sadness, and many things that we had no control over. It’s ok. To reflect on these things, and we also need to choose to move forward, as well.

•  Identify the Gifts and Positive Experiences – Acknowledge that there also were some things that we experienced that may have been positive, lessons learned, opportunities given, and personal growth. So it’s important to take some ownership of these things as well instead of focusing only on the negatives.

2 nd Step - Determine What We Want for 2021:

•  Be Intentional – Incorporate what we want to focus on for the New Year. We can evolve and develop a new sense of self and be realistic about what we can change, yet not expect to change everything. Be careful about referring to Resolutions and instead be willing to have Evolutions in the New Year. Select 1- 2 things that were lessons that can apply towards wisdom and growth in this NewYear.

•  Expect and Hope for Good things to come – Love unconditionally, learn self-

  acceptance, improve self-worth and self-esteem, reduce stress, anxiety and

  depression, offer grace to yourself, and recognize life offers us choices, and we

  can decide how we want to live it.

3 rd Step – Evolving In The New Year Questions (Answer the following questions and share them with someone you really trust):

•  Three Lessons I learned in 2020?

•  The gifts of 2020 that I am carrying over into 2021?

•  My thoughts about evolving instead of resolving?

•  A few things I hope to grow through in 2021?

•  My hope for 2021?

Make these a part of your goals for the New Year and celebrate that you made it through last year which was not easy. Believe in yourself and know that you are stronger than you may realize and have much to offer and accomplish in the New Year.

It often takes more courage to have hope than not because you are being asked to look into the unknown and still believe all things are possible. Sometimes it is only hope that feeds our spirits and launches us to find the strength and power to carry on.

If we are hopeful, can bad things still happen in life? Yes, but we must remember good things happen too, and sitting around feeling hopeless doesn’t help anybody.  Feeling hopeful can help you develop a more open mind, which can help you access more possibilities, making it more likely you will find a resolution to your problems or a new way to live with whatever you face in the New Year.

As Martin Luther King, Jr. once said, “Everything that is done in the world is done by hope.”   So, let’s try to be more hopeful in 2021 because hope is the beginning of all that’s possible to make the world a better place for everyone.

Wishing all of you a Happy, Hopeful and Healthy New Year!!!!

-Tosha M. Owens, MA, APCC

What Are The Green Flags?

By now most people have heard “red flags” in relationships and “ what makes a relationship toxic or unhealthy?” Well, I am now going to put another spin on it and we are going to talk about “ green flags”. You may be asking, “ what is a green flag?” A green flag is a sign that this person may very well be a decent partner for you.

Below are 10 green flags in relationships that make them strong and healthy.

1. Feeling good when being around each other is a huge green flag; when you each take pleasure in being around and sharing space with one another. Feeling happy, confident, safe, and being able to laugh together is an important part of a relationship and enjoying that person's company.

2. Being able to let your guard down and be vulnerable with that person is a green flag. When you are able to be comfortable enough with your partner that you can share unpleasant feelings or experiences, that is a green flag.

3. Getting reassurance from your partner is a deeper level of intimacy and that is a green flag. When there is a lot of communication, understanding, and listening between the two of you, you are in green flag territory.

4. Adapting to change in a healthy manner is a green flag. Relationships change and adapt over time. Relationships go through struggles but it is HOW you deal with those struggles where the green flags come in. when you can be open and discuss each others opposing opinions about things, take accountability, be respectful to one another during an argument, these are skills that have evolved your relationship into something more intimate and deeper.

5. Showing gratitude is another green flag. Having someone who is positive and appreciates the things you say. Whether it's sending them a song that makes you think of them, or simply saying thank you, is important.

6. Sharing common goals and values is a green flag. When your partner can support you on the things that are important to you, that is very important in a relationship.

7. Being able to be your true authentic self with no ridicule or judgment is an important green flag. Never underestimate the power of your partner letting you be your silly self without judging you.

8. Being challenged in a relationship is also a green flag. When you are able to be empowered by your partner or able to engage in teamwork with your partner, these are important. Encouraging each other to follow your dreams is a big green flag.

9. Being able to sacrifice for the relationship, while still remaining independent is a green flag. There may be things you will need to sacrifice to maintain the other person being kept as a priority, but keeping your independence is a good balance and a good example of keeping a healthy boundary.

10. Communication is a green flag. Being consistent with calls and texts, and being tuned in to each other when engaged in conversation is important.

It is just as important to recognize the good in relationships as it is to find the red flags. Being able to analyze these and have self-awareness is an important part of mental health.
For more ways to gain self-awareness book an appointment at CCS by calling 951-778-0230