Visual Impairment and Its Effects on Mental Health

Check out our latest vlog HERE!

Nora talks through visual impairments and their effects on mental health. Learn tips and tricks for working through impairments and how to improve your mental health today!

I have a passion for singing with people and helping them find a sense of hope in their most vulnerable moments. I believe that everyone has a right to be heard and validated. I use a client-centered, collaborative approach allowing the person the opportunity to discover the barriers that keep them from living their best life. In addition, I serve as a guide for the client to reach their own personal goals.

I enjoy working with people of all ages, including children, teens, and adults. My therapeutic space is always compassionate and non-judgmental to allow a safe and comfortable place to navigate and explore what is needed.

I am a member of the California Association of Marriage and Family Therapists (CAMFT).

World Alzheimer’s Day

Every year September 21st is World Alzheimer’s Day around the world. This international campaign is aimed to raise awareness and challenge common stigma that surrounds Alzheimer related dementia.

Many people still wrongly believe that dementia is normal aging, which is why it is important to provide more awareness and knowledge.

There are at least 8 different types of dementia, not to mention there are mixed combinations as well. Some of the most common ones are: Alzheimer’s Disease, Vascular Dementia, Dementia with Lewy Bodies, Parkinson’s Disease Dementia, Frontotemporal Dementia, Huntington’s Disease, Creutzfeldt-Jakob Disease, Wernicke-Korsakoff syndrome, and Normal Pressure Hydrocephalus.

Symptoms vary by type, but 10 of the most common warning signs are:

- Memory loss

- Difficulty performing familiar tasks

- Problems with language

- Disorientation regarding time and place

- Poor or decreased judgment

- Problems keeping track of things

- Misplacing things

- Changes in mood and behavior

- Challenges understanding visual and spatial information

- Withdrawal from work or social activities

When these signs are new and affecting your daily life or the life of someone you know, you should talk to your doctor or seek out more information. Having an examination can exclude other treatable conditions (ex. Thyroid problems, urinary tract infection, depression). If the diagnosis is dementia, then it will give you the opportunity to obtain more information, resources, and support for yourself and those close to you.

When dementia affects someone close to you like a partner or parent, it can cause a lot of stress, anxiety, and grief.

My colleague Jill Johson-Young and myself are hosting a free virtual support group every third Saturday of the month to support and provide resources for the caregivers.

Some of the tips we share in there are:

- Never argue with the person who has dementia. Instead, agree. Remember it’s the

disease, not the person.

- Never reason. Instead divert.

- Never shame, instead distract.

- Never lecture, instead reassure.

- Never say “remember”, instead reminisce.

- Never say “I told you”, instead repeat.

- Never say “You can’t”, instead say what they can do.

- Never demand, instead ask.

- Never condescend, instead encourage.

- Never force, instead reinforce.

You can also find some more resources on our facebook page:

https://www.facebook.com/Riversidedementiasupport

If you or a loved one would like more information and/or support. I encourage you to reach out to me or our office Central Counseling Services (951) 778-0230. We have counselors available 6 days a week in two locations: Riverside and Murrieta.

Ilse Aerts, M.S., LMFT#96211, LPCC#6135

Are You Feeling a Little Bit Depressed?

Are you usually a carefree and happy go, lucky person? Do you typically look to the glass being half full? Are you now with all this uncertainty feeling a bit depressed, nervous, or isolated? I want to assure you that you are not alone.

Human beings like structure, predictability, routine, and our brains work hard at creating habits out of mundane tasks. By grouping tasks together, our minds don’t have to remember it all. Often we do things mindlessly like drive to work, get ready for bed, manage money, or eating right are all examples of habits that we can put on automatic.

In our present world, our regular routines have changed or are suspended. Maybe you always stopped by the coffee shop to pick up your Café Americano or Caramel Macchiato, and now you are at home and no longer stopping by the coffee shop. Maybe you are not getting up at your “normal” work time, and perhaps you are staying up later because you do not have to get up as early. Many of us have been asked to work from home unless we are considered to be essential services. (a big shout out to those hard-working folks that are still doing their jobs; first responders, CPS workers, medical employees, faithful grocery workers, and others). By the way, we are also open but asking our clients to have telehealth appointments.

You might have noticed that you are not sleeping well at night or perhaps sleeping more, or your body may be craving more carbohydrates, and you are worried, restless, not sure of what to do with yourself. You may just feel down or blah. These are all normal reactions to what we are all experiencing in our world right now. The ambiguity and uncertainness can make us edgy and nervous. In the last few days, we have learned a new vocabulary, “social distancing”, “self-quarantine,” and “intervention Activities” heck we didn’t even know that CORVOD-19 was even a thing. Now that has all changed.

Our kids are home from school at first for two weeks now, some for two months or potentially longer. This whole pandemic is odd, and we have not experienced it before. If you are feeling a bit blue welcome to the “normal club,” depression and anxiety can be constant visitors for the next few weeks.

Let’s shift our focus and take a look at activities that can help reduce some of the depression or anxiety while keeping social distancing in place.

Go outside. The CDC and World Health Organization recommend going outside, just not in groups, and keep the 6’ space between you and others. The sun helps us by providing vitamin D and Serotonin, which is a chemical released by our brain. Serotonin is considered a natural mood stabilizer. Serotonin helps with many of our bodily functions, including bowel movements, bone health, sexual function, blood clotting, moods, and others. Specifically, Serotonin helps regulate our sleep, eating, and digestion. It also helps reduce depression and control anxiety. Ever wonder why when you are stressed you carve more carbohydrates? It’s to boost our serotonin levels. Going outside in the sunlight for 30 minutes daily can really help.

Open up the blinds or drapes. Allowing sunlight into your home will help with mood and may even kill bacteria. In a 2018 study, researchers at the University of Oregon found that in dark rooms, bacteria on average were alive 12% more than in a room filled with sunlight. Bacteria on average, in light-filled rooms, was only 6.8%. Less light can also mess with your Melatonin levels causing you to become sleep-deprived and grumpy.

Exercise we have long known that exercise is a natural treatment to fight depression. In an updated Harvard Health Letter from 2018, from the Harvard Medical School, Research shows that exercise is an effective treatment, and "for some people, it works as well as antidepressant medication.” It is most important to pick an exercise you like. Activities that you can still do includes running, biking, yoga, walking, swimming, resistance bands, and home workout videos. You can find plenty of ones on YouTube and since you have been watching those cat videos anyway, just add a 30-minute workout, then watch the cat videos.

Take a break from the news and social media. Give yourself some time off; endless news can increase depression and anxiety. We all need some downtime and continuously hearing the news can be detrimental to our mental health

Talk to loved ones and friends. This can be hard when we feel down, but it is crucial to keep in touch with our social supports. They may be struggling too. Just safely contact them over video chat or phone.

Listen to music; it’s a great time to find a new artist you like or create a new playlist. Music can be calming, reduce blood pressure, boost mood, and reduce anxiety.

Our brains are trying to make sense of this world, and you may feel ‘out of it” or in a fog. However, if your depression or anxiety grows during this time of social distancing, please reach out and get help. We are offering telehealth services, and research shows that they can be just as effective as in-person therapy. Please don’t suffer alone or needlessly.

 By Sheralyn (Sherry) Shockey-Pope, MA, LMFT

I began my career in this field because I wanted to help people find their passion and zest for life. My goal working with clients is to help them find their voice and get out of pain as quickly as possible.

I have worked with children in foster care and helped prepare their families for placement. My specialties include anxiety reduction, depression relief, adoption issues, grief and loss, divorce and trauma recovery. I also work with adults who want to find their passion and change their lives while working through the traumas of their pasts.

I am on the faculty of the Public Child Welfare Training Academy where I train local county social workers on Intimate Partner Violence, Mental Health, Family Engagement , Self Care for Social Workers and Eliminating Secondary Trauma. 

I also am available to speak to community groups or provide training on mental health issues, parenting and trauma I further enjoy my role as supervisor of trainees and interns as they are on their journey to become fully licensed therapists.

I am a Member of California Association of Family Therapist (CAMFT state level) and the current co-president of the Inland Empire Chapter of Marriage and Family Therapists 2014-2016. As well as the  chapterfacitator for the Inland CAMFT 3000 Club.

I don't believe that a person should be in counseling for years and years. I think you come in, work on the issues and leave. Later, if you need a tune up, then you come back and we work on healing those issues.

It is my privilege working with my clients as they walk their life's journey.

Zen Den

We all know that long term stress is bad for our health, and if we have no relief, it can cause health problems both physically and mentally. We also may be experiencing more stress as this pandemic continues with no definitive end date. Kids are starting back to school mostly online, and that means parents are trying to encourage their children to do their best to pay attention and complete their schoolwork whilst trying to work from home full time. We also know that some people have lost their jobs during this time, and that also creates a tremendous amount of stress. Trying to find a new job currently is extremely difficult. We wanted you to know that we understand, and we are trying our best to help and support our community.

One of our therapists, Diana Barns-Fox, LMFT, has found a creative way to help reduce stress with a calming interactive tool, mediation, breathing, laughing, and much more. All techniques on this webpage have been proven by research to reduce stress and anxiety and increase our positive wellbeing. Diana has pulled all the tools together for you in one place, and they are FREE…. All you have to do is to click on our Zen Den link and start feeling that stress rolling away.

On this page, you will find videos of funny animals, soothing music, and even a drum circle! Check it out here and be sure to share this with your friends

Borderline Personality Disorder and Relationships

Let's talk about borderline personality disorder (BPD) and relationships. The first thing we want to do is recognize the traits of borderline personality disorder. People with BPD tend to have an intense fear of being left alone or abandoned. Regardless of whether such abandonment is real or imagined, the individual may take extreme measures to avoid possible separation or rejection. These measures can include threatening self-harm, starting fights and arguments, and engaging in jealous behaviors. Unfortunately, these behaviors can cause an adverse reaction and cause the other partner to withdraw, which is the one thing that the person with a borderline personality disorder is trying to prevent.

BPD tends to make maintaining healthy relationships very challenging. A person with BPD tends to have a very black and white way of thinking about people, seeing them as all good or all bad. This causes frequently shifting attitudes towards others that range from extreme closeness and love (idealization) to extreme dislike or anger (devaluation). What this can look like  "I love you " now" I hate you" behavior.

People with BPD also struggle with identity disturbances. Their ability to be independent and autonomous is significantly impaired. They may also have constantly shifting ideas of who they are or what they want in life, including changing partners often, which can further uphold their unstable view of relationships.

Impulsive, risky, and often self-destructive behaviors are also common for those with BPD. This can include actually ending a healthy relationship. 

Suicidal thoughts and behavior are not uncommon for those who struggle with BPD. This suicidal behavior includes thinking about suicide, making suicidal threats, or carrying out a suicide attempt.

Another common symptom of BPD is emotional volatility, with intense mood swings ranging from extreme happiness to despair the next. They have a lot of trouble regulating their emotions. While these mood swings tend to pass fairly quickly, typically lasting only a few minutes or hours, they can also persist for several days in some cases. Behaviors associated with this can include starting arguments with your partner. These behaviors are very trying for the partner, and the partner is often left with little direction on how to fix it.

Those with borderline personality disorder often have difficulty feeling empathy for others. Studies have shown that those with BPD often have reduced activity in the brain regions that support empathy, leading to difficulty maintaining interpersonal relationships. This reduced activity means that those with BPD have difficulty understanding and predicting how others may feel in certain situations. Thus making the partner feel misunderstood and feeling alone.

 BPD is one of the most stigmatized mental health conditions. Borderline personality disorder (BPD) is a mental illness that affects adults in the United States alone. Those who develop BPD tend to begin exhibiting signs by early adulthood.

Let's talk about how one "gets" borderline personality disorder.

 Genetics might make you more vulnerable to developing BPD, but often it's due to stressful or traumatic life experiences that these vulnerabilities are triggered and become a problem. Either natural or fear of abandonment in childhood or adolescence, a disrupted family life, or poor communication in the family. Another factor contributing to BPD is sexual, physical, or emotional abuse from childhood. 

There is evidence that those diagnosed with BPD are more likely to have had a history of abuse or other distressing experiences during childhood. Studies have shown that 40% to 76% of people with BPD report being sexually abused as children, and 25% to 73% report being physically abused. Both physical and emotional neglect can also be contributing factors.

Treatment

With treatment and continual support from family and partners, people with BPD can have successful relationships. Dialectical behavioral therapy is commonly used with people who have BPD. A therapist will help you learn to respond to emotional situations with reason and proper judgment. This will reduce the dichotomous thinking (the belief that everything is black and white) that so many people with BPD have. 

Part of caring for a partner with BPD is understanding what they're experiencing. Understanding the level of emotional disorder they experience can help you respond in a way that protects both of you from other chaos.

If you have BPD or have a partner with BPD give me a call and let’s work together to create a healthier and happier relationship.

Courtney Whetstone, LMFT

I became a therapist because I want to help people who are struggling to change their lives. I work with clients in a caring and compassionate manner, and I tailor the treatment to fit their needs and goals. You are the most important part of your treatment - it needs to relate to your life in a way that works for you. I will challenge you to overcome the challenges you see in your life with support and positive feedback. My approach is working collaboratively toward a happier life for you by helping you make positive changes, including increasing your self-awareness and those barriers that have come between you and your goals.

My specialties include working with children and adolescents, couples, and in crisis intervention. I have experience in many areas, including family reunification counseling, anxiety, depression, and OCD. I also teach our co-parenting class here at CCS on Saturday mornings. Please call and set an appointment with me to help you develop  new tools to overcome emotional hurdles you are facing with strength and confidence.

Preparing for the Posts Ahead and FOMO: How to Deal with the Fear of Missing Out as We Begin Festival Season

All generations are now familiar with social media – from creating and sharing posts about their weekend adventure to sharing the next up-and-coming restaurant that just popped up. It is without a doubt that we all feel the excitement to share with our family, friends, and followers on the most exciting times of our lives, however have we ever taken the chance to reflect on that feeling that we are missing out on events, festivals, opportunities that others share on their feed? This feeling is called the Fear of Missing Out. According to VeryWellMind, The Fear of Missing Out (FOMO) refers to:

“the feeling or perception that others are having more fun, living better lives, or experiencing better things than you are. FOMO is not just the sense that there might be better things that you could be doing at this moment, but it is the feeling that you are missing out on something fundamentally important that others are experiencing right now.”

Essentially, FOMO is often exacerbated by spending time on any social media platform: Facebook, Instagram, TikTok, Youtube, etc. FOMO is phenomenon that affects people of all ages, as studies have also shown that there was a greater linkage to this feeling between increased smartphone & social media usage, regardless of age and gender. Research has also shown that increased feelings of FOMO detrimentally affect an individual’s sense of self-esteem and even envy.

So how can one take care of oneself as we venture on to warmer months, more vacations, more festivals, more social media posts? How can we minimize FOMO for ourselves? Here are some tips:

1. Practice Gratitude
   Oftentimes, we focus on our “lack mindset”. This means that we tend to focus on the things, experiences, people that we do not have. Rather, it is important for us to take the time to practice some gratitude – to change our mindset to one about “abundance”. With an “abundance mindset”, we take the time to name the people. Places, things, experiences, and so on that we are truly grateful for. With this, you can start a gratitude journal or simply take the time to practice some mindfulness and name these things to ourselves. With an “abundance mindset”, we take the time to focus on what we do have and the opportunities to follow.
   

2. Get Connected
   During this time, getting connected to our loved ones, including friends, family, and supporters, can be such a nice change of pace. Nowadays, we often get caught up in the speed and frenzy of social media, when we truly need to take the time to get connected either physically or through Zoom/FaceTime with those that we truly care about it. Making plans can help you with being able to conquer that feeling that you are missing out on life.
   

3. Journal It Out
   The benefits of this day and age is the accessibility to creating any kind of note at any time. With a smartphone or even with a regular notebook, take some time to jot down your thoughts both helpful and unhelpful. With social media, people are expected to share all the happy moments, however it’s important for us to process the moments that are the opposite. So whether your journal entry be about you promotion at work, you receiving a scholarship in school, or how the guy that cut you off while driving on the freeway was rude – journal it out to process.

Scott, E. 2021, April 25. How to Deal With FOMO in Your Life. VeryWellMind. https://www.verywellmind.com/how-to-cope-with-fomo-4174664

CECILIA FABE, ACSW

I believe that you are truly capable of overcoming life’s difficulties through thoughtful therapeutic guidance.

Dealing with life’s stressors can often be overwhelming, and continuing to experience emotional stressors can create a debilitating impact upon the relationship you have with yourself and others. Just because you experience these stressors, doesn’t mean you have to go face them all alone. Whether it be depression, anxiety, hopelessness, relationship conflicts, etc. I hope to be your trusted support.

My name is Cecilia, and I am a compassionate, empathetic clinical therapist. I obtained my B.A. in psychology from UC Riverside and my Master of Social Work from Loma Linda University. My professional experience includes providing individual and group therapy services in the outpatient setting in both mental health and substance abuse clinics. I provide counseling for teens, adults, and couples.

My focus is on providing trauma-informed care that is client-centered and strengths-based. I have the strong belief that treatment is focused on you, and that you are truly capable of overcoming life’s difficulties, especially through thoughtful therapeutic guidance.

I provide services utilizing Cognitive Behavioral Therapy (CBT), Dialectical Behavioral Therapy (DBT), Solution Focused Brief Therapy, Trauma-Informed Systems, as well as EMDR (Eye Movement Desensitization and Reprocessing) Therapy. I provide therapy in both English and Tagalog!

My hope is to provide you with a safe space to be able to work through life’s stressors and for you to feel supported, empowered, & capable. 

Do your friends tell you you need a therapist?

Check out our latest vlog HERE

Nora discusses the struggles and emotions that come along with being visually impaired and wants others to know they aren't alone. It is important to face these challenges and she helps clients combat them by using tools and different coping skills to fight them once and for all. Nora advocates for those struggling and provides a therapeutic safe space with no judgment to help clients live their best lives. 

NORA MUONGPRUAN, AMFT

I have a passion for sing with people and helping them find a sense of hope in their most vulnerable moments. I believe that everyone has a right to be heard and validated. I use a client-centered, collaborative approach allowing the person the opportunity to discover the barriers that keep them from living their best life. In addition, I serve as a guide for the client to reach their own personal goals.

I enjoy working with people of all ages, including children, teens, and adults. My therapeutic space is always compassionate and non-judgmental to allow a safe and comfortable place to navigate and explore what is needed.

I am a member of the California Association of Marriage and Family Therapists (CAMFT).

How to Manage Holiday Stress

While Easter is approaching, it’s important to discuss ways to get out of the rabbit hole this weekend. Celebrating Easter does come with its many quirks - preparing gift baskets, hiding Easter eggs for the kids, and so on. However, regardless of the fun, it’s a holiday, and many people out here may love or hate holidays. It’s important that as we approach yet another holiday to practice self-awareness. Below are listed some ways in which we all can ease the stress that comes with celebrating:

1. Acknowledge your expectations.

Take some time to consider what you value during the holiday. Is it spending some time with a religious community? Or maybe skipping out on inviting the whole world to your Easter party and inviting those dearest to you? Either way, with each holiday season comes a lot of self reflection that you’d have to practice.

2. Communicate with your support system.

Holidays can be stressful. Take some time to contact your support system - a close family member, friend, etc. - who can be able to listen to your concerns. You can even take time to speak with your therapist if your are linked with one. Talking your thoughts out to process can be incredibly helpful.

3. Start a New Tradition.

Sometimes creating our own new traditions can be most helpful in navigating through a holiday. Take some time to consider what are some customs that are important to you and possibly apply it to the upcoming holiday.

4. Volunteer.

Holidays are always the perfect opportunity to practice altruism and support your community. With this upcoming Easter season, you may spend time making easter baskets to hand out to the community or participate in arranging easter festivities for little one’s with your local church. 

5. Contact Us for Help.

If the upcoming holiday is truly a difficult time for yourself, there is always the option of reaching out to your mental health services provider or therapist. Make sure to discuss with your providers ahead of time in coming up with a safety to address your concerns.

Easter can be such a joyful time, however it’s important for us to be mindful when we are overwhelmed, so we don’t fall into that rabbit hole.

CECILIA FABE, ACSW, 96704

I believe that you are truly capable of overcoming life’s difficulties through thoughtful therapeutic guidance.

Dealing with life’s stressors can often be overwhelming, and continuing to experience emotional stressors can create a debilitating impact upon the relationship you have with yourself and others. Just because you experience these stressors, doesn’t mean you have to go face them all alone. Whether it be depression, anxiety, hopelessness, relationship conflicts, etc. I hope to be your trusted support.

My name is Cecilia, and I am a compassionate, empathetic clinical therapist. I obtained my B.A. in psychology from UC Riverside and my Master of Social Work from Loma Linda University. My professional experience includes providing individual and group therapy services in the outpatient setting in both mental health and substance abuse clinics. I provide counseling for teens, adults, and couples.

My focus is on providing trauma-informed care that is client-centered and strengths-based. I have the strong belief that treatment is focused on you, and that you are truly capable of overcoming life’s difficulties, especially through thoughtful therapeutic guidance.

I provide services utilizing Cognitive Behavioral Therapy (CBT), Dialectical Behavioral Therapy (DBT), Solution Focused Brief Therapy, Trauma-Informed Systems, as well as EMDR (Eye Movement Desensitization and Reprocessing) Therapy. I provide therapy in both English and Tagalog!

My hope is to provide you with a safe space to be able to work through life’s stressors and for you to feel supported, empowered, & capable. 

Visual Impairment and Its Effects on Mental Health

Check out our latest vlog HERE!

Nora talks through visual impairments and their effects on mental health. Learn tips and tricks for working through impairments and how to improve your mental health today!

I have a passion for singing with people and helping them find a sense of hope in their most vulnerable moments. I believe that everyone has a right to be heard and validated. I use a client-centered, collaborative approach allowing the person the opportunity to discover the barriers that keep them from living their best life. In addition, I serve as a guide for the client to reach their own personal goals.

I enjoy working with people of all ages, including children, teens, and adults. My therapeutic space is always compassionate and non-judgmental to allow a safe and comfortable place to navigate and explore what is needed.

I am a member of the California Association of Marriage and Family Therapists (CAMFT).

Don't Forget Your Hat!

Hello, 

How are you? My name is Sheri, and yours? 

What’s been on your mind? 

What would you like to unpack today? 

It has been so nice to meet you and as a result, I’d like to get to know a little bit more about you… So, what are your interests, and what do you like to do to really enjoy yourself???? 

Don’t worry, I have plenty of time… I’ll wait. 

Awe, come on, tell me what it is? I’m sure you can think of something right?

Does this conversation sound familiar to you? Well, if it does… I’d like to let you in on a little secret... 

It seems to me like you’ve lost your hat. 

“What hat, you ask? 

The Self-hat, that is! 

Everyone has hats. In fact, people will often wear a sundry of them every day, and even change them throughout the day to engage in certain roles or tasks.

There are many hats, like mom-hat, dad-hat, sibling-hat, son/daughter-hat, work-hat, and friend-hat to name a few. 

The trouble with having so many hats, increases the risk of losing the self-hat, and ultimately losing you. 

It happens much of the time with people just like me and you. 

For example, that mom that gets stuck in mom role and loses touch with everything about herself. The working father, that lives in the future, thinking about work and unable to enjoy the present moment with family. The friend that has a hard time asserting boundaries when friends take advantage. That sibling that wants to break free of the adult role in the household as a result of an absent parent. 

These are some examples, just to name a few. If you look up and suddenly cannot remember what inspires, motivates, or interests you, and you have not done anything for yourself in quite a while. The time is now, to put on your Self-hat and make a daring and bold entrance! 

Looking good! 

Now, remember to wear your Self-hat a few times throughout the week, for a classic, never grows old. 

Be Well,

Sheri Murray, AMFT, APCC

If you need to find that Self-hat, Sheri Murray is a good one to help you find it. Call us today to work with Sheri.

Why you SHOULD be making your bed every day!

During this pandemic with COVID-19, our lives seem to change from day to day, even moment to moment. These new government policies, including self-quarantine, self-isolation, and social distancing, can affect your mental health. It is no wonder why many people are experiencing increased stress, sadness, and anxiety. 

What can a person do during these uncertain times?

One thing you can do is to set up a routine. Did you know the biological clock affects our mental health?! Having a routine helps your biological clock, or circadian rhythm, properly activated. Keeping you happy and healthy. It is essential to keeping your regular sleep and wake times. Another simple task but a must in your daily routine is, making your bed! Making your bed gives you a feeling of accomplishment. This one little task sets the tone for the rest of the day and gives you a sense of pride. Our mothers had it right when they would tell us to make our bed. Having a routine helps you cope with life’s uncertainty and has been proven to reduce stress levels. According to a study by researchers at Tel Aviv University, predictable and repetitive routines are calming and help reduce anxiety. 

What’s your routine?

Another simple thing you can do to relieve stress, anxiety, and yes, even depression, is to change the words you use. For instance, instead of saying, "I am stuck at home." or "I'm bored, and I have nothing to do", change the words to "I have an opportunity to spend time with my kids," or "I have the time to catch up on projects I have been putting off." Changing the words from negative to positive strengthens areas in the brain and helps improve one's cognitive function. Just changing a word from negative to positive automatically enhances your emotional wellbeing. Thoughts can affect your mood. When we have one of these negative thoughts, like “it’s going to be like this forever!” this creates a feeling of hopelessness. Which in turn affects our behavior. For example, you might just lay in bed, not wanting to get up. Then the cycle begins, now you are feeling depressed and not eating or sleeping. This cycle can keep on going around and around. So, how can you stop these negative thoughts? I know this might sound funny but argue with yourself! Tell yourself “no this is only temporary; I should use this time to get stuff done that I have been putting off.” Another way to help is by talking it out. You can talk with a friend, family member, or even your therapist. The nice thing about talking to your therapist is we have a thing call Confidentiality. Which means we cannot discuss what you say to anyone. Of course, there are exceptions. But, the nice thing about talking to a therapist is we won’t tell other family members or friends what you say. We are here to help you process those feelings. Try changing your words, or even arguing with yourself, and see if it helps.  

An additional thing you can do to help with stress is to keep busy! 

There are SO many activities.

Clean out the closet, the one that you keep saying you are going to get to (but never do). Our emotional health is affected by our surroundings. Uncluttering your house can reduce stress! Clutter can distract you, it makes you feel uneasy, and in general, clutter invites chaos into your life. There are several ways to start. Begin with one thing at a time, like organizing your books or cleaning out the utensil drawers. Then move on. A good rule of thumb is if you have not used an item or have not worn that piece of clothing in the last year, get rid of it. Donating unwanted items helps others, and you might be able to get a tax write off for it. 

House already uncluttered?

Well, another thing you can do is, read. How many of us keep saying “oh I have no time to read, but I would like too” well here is your chance! Did you know that reading is therapeutic, it called bibliotherapy (reading therapy). Bibliotherapy has been known to reduce stress, increase empathy, social skills, and interpersonal understanding. So, grab that book! Check out: 100 books to read in your lifetime

Before the Covid-19 our lives kept us so busy. It was impossible to spend a few days uncluttering or a few hours curled up with a good book. Now we are forced to take it slow. Which is not a bad thing. If you still can not think of something to do, I have included a list below just for you. 

Don't pass up the bonding opportunities.

Lastly, since we are all together, make sure to have fun. Spending quality time with our family can improve our mental health. Try play games with the family, this can be done virtually as well. Spend time preparing meals together. Not only does this teach the children how to cook, but it also is building a positive relationship, even if you burn the cookies. These are the things that make memories and something that we can all laugh about later. Did you know that Americans rarely eat together anymore? However, eating at the table together helps us handle the daily stressors of life, build relationships, and provide a space for communication. This gives the family time to come all together in one place, instead of being in separate rooms. Let us try having dinner at the table again. 

 Learn to play again

One of the most important fun activities a family can do together is to take a walk, bike, or even have a dance party around the house. Did you know when we exercise, our brain releases a feel-good chemical called endorphins? These chemicals enhance your sense of wellbeing. Exercising helps take our mind off our worries and is known to reduce anxiety and depression. Let’s get active. Children who spend more quality time doing fun activities with their parents are happier on average than those who spend less time with their parents. Get those board games out or ask your kids how to play Fortnite, Super Mario, or try Drawful. Have fun together with whatever you choose!

Now that you have some tools to help with your feelings of depression, anxiety, and stress that we all feel due to COVID-19; Try them, they just might help. And do not forget, to make your bed! 

Things I can do to help with Anxiety and/or Depression

Create a vision board                                           Do some adult coloring books
 Meditate.                                                               Take a shower
Light a scented candle                                         Sing along to your favorite music
Get enough sleep                                                 Get some exercise
Get on social media (keep the time-limited)       Pet your pet (play with them)
Help someone out.                                                Eat a salad or fruit
Take a nap                                                              Make a journal
Study something new                                           Talk to your therapist
Squeeze a stress ball.                                           Go swimming
Use Essential oils                                                  Drink COLD water
Breathing exercises                                              Try yoga or cha cha
Create a masterpiece                                            Drink herbal tea (have a tea party)
Get some sunshine                                               Go for a walk
Listen to Classical music                                      Play a game
Snuggle under a blanket with a book                  Watch some comedy
Look at old photos                                                 Doodle on paper
Write a letter to your future self                            Clean the house
Phone a friend                                                        Lay on the ground
Read a self-help book                                            Splash cold water on your face
Laugh.                                                                      Have faith in yourself
Close your eyes                                                      Declutter your bedroom
File those papers                                                    Chuck stuff out
Get on the treadmill                                                Start a garden
Try a new recipe                                                      Work on a puzzle
Knit/Crochet/Needlework

Nature Therapy

   “In every walk with nature, one receives far more than he seeks.” - John Muir

Doctors in Scotland are authorized to prescribe nature to patients to help reduce blood pressure, anxiety, increase happiness, treat post-cancer fatigue, obesity, diabetes, mental illness, and much more!!  For example, a walk in the country reduces, mental illness, and much more!! For example, a walk in the country reduces depression in 71% of participants according to a study from the University of Essex. By spending 90 minutes a day outside, you can decrease activity in the part of your brain that is associated with depression.

In fact, as little as just five minutes strolling in the park or gardening improves self-esteem, mood, and motivation as per the study!

‘Ecotherapy’ also known as ‘green therapy, ‘nature therapy’, or ‘earth-centered therapy’ is an emerging form of treatment to healing emotionally, physically, and psychologically.  It has many benefits such as a boost to our immunity and a reduction in anxiety, ADHD, and aggression. For example, just 30 mins of brisk walking in the sunshine can increase the circulation of natural killer cells, white blood cells, and other immune system warriors.

A Body in Motion Keeps the Mind Active Too! Walking can help bring our attention to the present moment so that we can use all our senses to enjoy the moment. While walking, pay mindful attention to the odor of the wood, or fragrance of the orange blossoms, the sound of the stream, or the chirping of birds. This provides relaxation and reduces stress. Walking outdoors has been recommended because it inspires feelings of awe which gives us a secondary brain boost.  We need this in order to reduce the mental overload caused by our busy lives.

If you decide to take a walk in a green environment, be sure to wear appropriate clothing, take along a water bottle for hydration, and protect your skin by wearing sunscreen. Walking outdoors compared to indoors have many more benefits and serves as a mini-therapy allowing both mind and body to reset.

For those who are too busy to walk, try to squeeze in walking during your lunch hour, listen to a podcast, or walk to the grocery store for example.  Statistically speaking, less than 5% of the people are performing 30 minutes of physical activity per day. However, our bodies were designed to be moving and not follow a sedentary lifestyle.

Lastly, the law defined by Isaac Newton states that a body in motion will stay in motion and a body in rest will stay in rest.  It is, therefore, crucial for us to keep moving our body at least for 30 minutes a day to keep it functioning at optimum. I invite you to think deeply about our connection of the mind-body with nature. 

Lets Focus on the Children

Our world is going through something many of us have not seen in our lifetime. For that reason, we need to focus a bit on our children.  You will notice some of your children are anxious, confused, perhaps having nightmares or not wanting to go to sleep. 

When very young children, 5 and under hear the news over and over again, throughout the day, they believe all this chaos is going on over and over again; they become very anxious and afraid. If you have that young of children, please have them in another room if you going to binge-watch the news.
  
For children 6 through 10, they also may have some of the same reactions. They might stop doing schoolwork, and not wanting to do their chores at home. They may feel guilty and helpless especially if they know someone who has gotten ill or even died. Children also understand the risk their parents are taking if they are essential workers, this can cause them to be extra stressed or worry, understandable of course. 
  
Youth and adolescents 11-19 go through a lot of physical and emotional changes because of their developmental stage. So it may be even harder for them to cope with the anxiety associated with hearing and reading news of the outbreak. Don't forget they have lost a lot too, no promotions/graduations, no prom, no first/last season on the varsity team they worked so hard for. They are grieving those lost memories. 

They may say, "I'm ok" or go into silence when they are upset. They may complain about physical aches and pains. All this, because they cannot identify what is really bothering them emotionally. They may also experience anxiety/depression - start arguments at home with siblings or parents and resist any structure or authority. And, they may try to engage in risky behaviors like drugs and alcohol.

As parents, caretakers, and guardians we want to help, 

With the right support around them, children and teens can manage their stress in response to COVID-19. We want them emotionally and physically healthy.  Perhaps a family "making dinner together" will help, or playing a game of scrabble might just be the right thing. Be a good listener, turn the TV off at times, and bring out the old games that might be familiar to them. They can use hugs, and non-judgemental coaxing.
Often parents on the front line need some "space, time and debriefing" as well and some ways to relax. This is normal and a healthy way to process the stress of the day. Try to maintain consistent routines, let your children know you care and love them, and address your own anxiety and stress, during this debrief.

Sheltering in place means everyone needs some personal space and time.  Find a way to make that happen. Keep things in perspective to relieve your stress. Eat healthy foods, and drink lots of water. Avoid excessive amounts of caffeine and alcohol. Don't use tobacco or illegal drugs. To the best of your ability, get adequate sleep, take breaks throughout the day and add in physical exercise.

We will get through this, eventually, we will come out on the other side stronger. Kids need your help as parents to get them through the other side of this. You can do it.

The drive home

So many times during our drive home from work, school or even running errands we engage in unhealthy behavior. Like everyone, I find myself engaging in unhealthy behavior such as overeating or my favorite “road rage.” Especially after a long stressful day at work. I just feel as if I have so much anxiety, I need to GET IT OUT, on the person driving on the road in front of me.

Now, I am maybe exaggerating just a little, but we all can let the stress of the day get to us in one way or another while driving.

These are some simple techniques that have helped me on the drive home.

First: I find it helpful to reflect on the positive outcomes of the day. No matter how BAD the day was, find the good.

Second: Refocus my priorities. Reviewing short term goals and long term goals.

Third: Listening to music that makes you feel good whether it be pop, country, jazz, meditation or relaxation or R&B music.

Four: Talk to yourself, yes I said talk to yourself. It sometimes is effective to bounce an idea around with you to improve productivity and reflect on the day and what we could have done differently.

Fifth: To be grateful for the small things you have, such as a beautiful sunset as you look at the horizon. For some, this might be a time to have a deeper connection with a high power. 

Sixth: Be polite to other drivers. Do the opposite of what you are feeling at the moment. You will see a different outlook if you exercise your free will of choice, and not react to your impulses.

Next time you feel like waving a nice middle finger birdied or honking your horn at someone, try to implement these six simple techniques on your next DRIVE HOME.

If you need help taming the anxiety or managing the road rage, call us, we can help get you back on track. We have two convenient locations to serve you, Riverside or Murrieta. Don’t continue to worry or be angry, call us @951-778-0230 or email Therapyccs@gmail.com

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by Lisa J. Clark, AMFT

Lisa loves working with teens and adults. She helps by teaching anxiety reduction skills and problem-solving skills. She is a good listener and she cares much. She hates to see people in pain and she works with them to help them develop a happier and healthier life. She is optimistic and warm and she helps people see other perspectives.

She is a parent and she understands that raising children can be a lot of hard work and sometimes parents get stressed and need help too.

A favorite quote of her is "It's easier to build strong children than repair Broken men." Fredrick Douglass.