We blog regularly and post items we feel maybe of interest to our wonderful clients; check back regularly to see what we have posted.

Support, treatment Sherry Shockey-Pope Support, treatment Sherry Shockey-Pope

Anger Management is More than Managing Anger

Do you have anger issues? Take a look at this list of myths and decide for yourself. You can make a change with a professional trained in Anger Management and Emotional Intelligence.

Do you have anger issues? Take a look at this list of myths and decide for yourself. You can make a change with a professional trained in Anger Management and Emotional Intelligence. 

Myth 1: Anger is a primary feeling. 

Mental health professional, George Anderson, MSW, MCSW, CAMF, Certified EQ-i Examiner, states that “Anger is a secondary emotion. Some other feelings always come before anger. Frequently, anger is preceded by stress, anxiety, depression, burnout or fatigue. If the primary feeling can be identified, strategies for managing anger and enhancing self-awareness, social awareness, self-control, empathy and relationship management can be used.” 

Myth 2: I don’t have anger issues; I can control it. 

There is a cost to avoiding our feelings. Everyone has days that are frustrating and situations that may anger us; no one is exempt from strong feelings. Maybe you have the kind of temperament that does not lash out, yell or hit things but chances are the anger is impacting you in other ways. 

Are you having trouble sleeping? Has your eating been out of control or non-existent? Maybe you have lost interest in things that you usually enjoy. All of these behaviors are symptoms of feelings that you are keeping hidden and anger may be one of them. Even though it feels like you are in control, your feelings are controlling you through residual behaviors that may be destructive or harmful to you. 

Myth 3: I feel what I feel and I cannot change. 

It is true that you are allowed to feel what you feel. And it is also true that you may choose not to change but everyone has the capacity for change. If you are having angry outburst that you feel are out of control or impacting your life on a daily basis it may mean that there are underlying feelings that you need to address and it is possible for your behavior to change. 

You can address anger issues through awareness of feelings and thoughts and then changing the behavior. Use a professional that is going to help you develop communication skills, understand anger and learn to be in control. A skilled professional can also raise your emotional intelligence and provide skills for stress management, which also rolls into improvements in relationship management.

You see, Anger Management is more than managing anger - it’s a set of skills that you can master, with the right professional. 

The Anger Management & Emotional Intelligence program we lead is “designed to help individuals recognize and manage anger and stress.” One primary goal is to teach acceptable behaviors and ways to express anger through gaining an understanding of ourselves. Attendees will be taught exercises to try at home and also practice within a safe group atmosphere. The program also includes skill enhancement exercises from the BarOn EQ-i Emotional Intelligence coaching program. 

If you want to learn more about anger management contact us at Central Counseling Services and get signed up with one of our professionally run groups. 

Resources

https://andersonservices.com/- Mental health professional trainers on Anger Management https://www.aaamp.org/ - The American Association of Anger Management Providers Do I have anger issues? (https://www.healthline.com/health/anger-issues) https://www.hpsys.com/EI_BarOnEQ-I.htm- BarOn EQ-i Emotional Intelligence

Amanda Wilbur, ACSW

I provide counseling to individuals (adults and children) and couples. I’ve treated a wide range of challenges, mental health matters, adjustments to life’s hurts, and trauma.

Common trauma symptoms: panic attacks, chronic pain, rage, substance abuse, numbing, depression, nightmares, anxiety, and/or hopelessness.

When my loved one struggled with mental illness I received training and experience with leading classes for National Alliance on Mental Illness (NAMI) family programs and peer support groups. I am certified as an Anger Management Facilitator and SMART Recovery. Besides a Loma Linda University Master's degree, I have specialized training in Postpartum Support International’s Perinatal Mood Disorders Component of Care and Trauma-Focused Cognitive Behavioral Therapy (CF CBT).

I love how the brain works (neuroscience), and how we are impacted through the body (somatic experiencing). I understand how lack of emotional control (dysregulation) can impact us and how attachment disorders affect our relationships. Traumatic events, past experiences, and unresolved issues can disrupt our daily living. An understanding of our body and brain physiology can help. When combined, psychotherapy and body-based or somatic therapy can promote wellness and resilience.

As a therapist, it is important to know how these symptoms work so that we can show compassion and use skills to help clients manage their stress and physical dysregulation. In this way, instead of a major eruption, clients can learn to have little system shocks in their body that are manageable and keep the build-up from happening. A trauma resiliency approach can return the natural rhythm of the nervous system to a resilient place and improve the integration of the brain and the body to a place of whole wellness.

My goal as a therapist is to provide a safe space where each person feels supported, encouraged, and also challenged to grow and build the life they want yet also feel equipped when challenges come up – because they will. They just do.

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Childhood Trauma, treatment Lisa J. Clark, LMFT Childhood Trauma, treatment Lisa J. Clark, LMFT

Some Adult Behaviors Of Someone Who Suffered From Verbal Abuse As A Child

When you hear a lot of verbal abuse as a child, you begin to internalize it. Being repeatedly insulted, called names, and told that you aren’t good enough takes a toll on you. As a child, you slowly begin to believe that you are all those things.This is especially true if you were always told to lighten up or have more positive thinking whenever a cruel comment upset you. As a child, you lacked the necessary reasoning ability to understand that your family members were in the wrong, not you. So, instead, you believed them, and along the way, your confidence was lost and you began to doubt and dislike yourself.

 Low Self-Esteem

When you hear a lot of verbal abuse as a child, you begin to internalize it. Being repeatedly insulted, called names, and told that you aren’t good enough takes a toll on you. As a child, you slowly begin to believe that you are all those things.

This is especially true if you were always told to lighten up or have more positive thinking whenever a cruel comment upset you. As a child, you lacked the necessary reasoning ability to understand that your family members were in the wrong, not you. So, instead, you believed them, and along the way, your confidence was lost and you began to doubt and dislike yourself. 

Here are some ways that low self-esteem due to childhood verbal abuse may be affecting you to this day:

You Blame Yourself A Lot:

Verbal abusers often like to point fingers. They’ll put the blame on anyone and everyone except themselves. Your family members likely never took responsibility for their wrongdoings; instead, they guilted you, causing you to always feel at fault.

Today, this may cause you to always blame yourself about everything – even things that don’t have much to do with you. If anything goes wrong, you automatically feel guilty and think you could have done something to stop it.

        

You Have Trouble Standing By Decisions:

When you were growing up, there’s a good chance that your family members would always insist that they knew best. Every time you had a good idea or wanted to make your own choices, they would manipulate you. They would make you believe that you were young and ignorant, and they weren’t controlling you; they just “care.”

Of course, they didn’t care, and it was all an act to put you in your so-called place. As a grown-up, this may cause you to lack conviction in your ability to make decisions. You may second guess your choices or become extremely anxious about making them. And if they happen to be the wrong choices, you’ll berate yourself for days – if not longer.

        

You Do A Lot Of Negative Self-Talk:

Verbal abuse conditions children to think negatively about themselves. This is why your inner voice may mirror your abuser’s. You may have a constant barrage of negative thoughts and criticize yourself over every small issue. You may even insult yourself.


You Feel Like You’re Never Good Enough: 

Verbally abusive families often expect unreasonable things out of their children. Even if those kids manage to achieve those unrealistic expectations, there is never any reward or any kindness waiting.

As an adult, this may cause you to always feel like you could have done more. You may overwork yourself, obsess over failure unhealthily, and consider any achievement less than the very best to be not nearly good enough.

        

 You Don’t Consider Your Needs Important: 

Verbally abusive homes are often also neglectful. When you expressed your needs as a child, you were likely ignored or told to suck it up. Today, this may manifest in a lack of care for your wellbeing. You may underestimate your needs, or you may feel like they aren’t worthy of your attention and care. 

Recovery from childhood verbal abuse

However through individual therapy using cognitive behavioral therapy strategies and techniques we can modify self-esteem through Cognitive restructuring or reframing negative thoughts of self, Guided discovery, Exposure therapy, Journaling and thought records, Activity scheduling and behavior activation, Behavioral experiments, Relaxation and stress reduction techniques, Role playing and daily positive self-affirmations. 

As a child we cannot help our circumstances. However as an adults we can change cognitive distortions of self and improve self-awareness, self-esteem and promote positive productivity through individual therapy. 

My name is Lisa Jacobs Clark. I am a Licensed Marriage and Family Therapist with CCS and have been practicing for over five years. 

I enjoy working with children, teens and adults to improve their cognitive perceptions of themselves, improving self-value, self-worth and overall self-esteem through active strategies discussed in weekly individual therapy. 

LISA J. CLARK, LMFT

Lisa loves working with teens and adults. She helps by teaching anxiety reduction skills and problem-solving skills. She is a good listener and she cares much. She hates to see people in pain and she works with them to help them develop a happier and healthier life. She is optimistic and warm and she helps people see other perspectives.

She is a parent and she understands that raising children can be a lot of hard work and sometimes parents get stressed and need help too.

A favorite quote of her is "It's easier to build strong children than repair Broken men." Fredrick Douglass.

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Nature Therapy

Walking outdoors inspires feelings of awe which gives us a secondary brain boost. We need Nature Therapy to reduce mental overload caused by our busy lives.

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   “In every walk with nature, one receives far more than he seeks.” - John Muir

Doctors in Scotland are authorized to prescribe nature to patients to help reduce blood pressure, anxiety, increase happiness, treat post-cancer fatigue, obesity, diabetes, mental illness, and much more!!  For example, a walk in the country reduces, mental illness, and much more!! For example, a walk in the country reduces depression in 71% of participants according to a study from the University of Essex. By spending 90 minutes a day outside, you can decrease activity in the part of your brain that is associated with depression.

In fact, as little as just five minutes strolling in the park or gardening improves self-esteem, mood, and motivation as per the study!


‘Ecotherapy’ also known as ‘green therapy, ‘nature therapy’, or ‘earth-centered therapy’ is an emerging form of treatment to healing emotionally, physically, and psychologically.  It has many benefits such as a boost to our immunity and a reduction in anxiety, ADHD, and aggression. For example, just 30 mins of brisk walking in the sunshine can increase the circulation of natural killer cells, white blood cells, and other immune system warriors.


A Body in Motion Keeps the Mind Active Too! Walking can help bring our attention to the present moment so that we can use all our senses to enjoy the moment. While walking, pay mindful attention to the odor of the wood, or fragrance of the orange blossoms, the sound of the stream, or the chirping of birds. This provides relaxation and reduces stress. Walking outdoors has been recommended because it inspires feelings of awe which gives us a secondary brain boost.  We need this in order to reduce the mental overload caused by our busy lives.


If you decide to take a walk in a green environment, be sure to wear appropriate clothing, take along a water bottle for hydration, and protect your skin by wearing sunscreen. Walking outdoors compared to indoors have many more benefits and serves as a mini-therapy allowing both mind and body to reset.

For those who are too busy to walk, try to squeeze in walking during your lunch hour, listen to a podcast, or walk to the grocery store for example.  Statistically speaking, less than 5% of the people are performing 30 minutes of physical activity per day. However, our bodies were designed to be moving and not follow a sedentary lifestyle.


Lastly, the law defined by Isaac Newton states that a body in motion will stay in motion and a body in rest will stay in rest.  It is, therefore, crucial for us to keep moving our body at least for 30 minutes a day to keep it functioning at optimum. I invite you to think deeply about our connection of the mind-body with nature. 

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treatment, Quality of life Léah Almilli treatment, Quality of life Léah Almilli

Perspective – what being a client taught me about being a better therapist

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As a therapist, my clients often ask, “do you have a therapist?” And, I answer honestly, “yes.”

One would think that it would be confusing or even unethical to divulge such personal information to my clients that I, too, like them, have seen, and/or is currently seeing my own personal therapist. It can lead to further personal questions. Such as:

“What do you talk about?”

“Do you have the same problems as me?”

And, the biggest one: “If you go see a therapist, how can you help me with my own problems?”

Here’s the thing about seeking out help from a third party that is uninvolved with the issues that are going on in your life (or mine): they are in a position to provide unbiased perspectives (see what I did there) on what is happening and to guide you (or me) through situations where you (or I) may feel stuck. 

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Therapy benefits everyone; even therapists. We often hear of self-care and how that is crucial to all parts of our health – mental, emotional, and physical. If you could think of therapy as another way of self-care, why wouldn’t a therapist who engages in providing therapy to their clients on a daily basis want to engage in the same type of care?

Therapy is beneficial and therapists who engage in their own personal therapy would only prove to gain more insight into themselves. This increased intimate awareness just adds to their self-care routines and provides them with further opportunities to become a better therapist for their clients. 

Below are a few reasons why:

  • Occasionally, problems from life are not life-threatening or traumatic. Yet, we still encounter issues that cause us stress! Therapy can help us deal with these emotions from these taxing encounters.

  • Other times, we see a problem, we know it’s there, and yet, we just cannot figure it out. We cannot find the answer no matter what we do. Therapy can help dissect those problems and guide us to a solution that best fits us.

  • Talking with a therapist can help us find perspective (ah, there it is again!) and help us build up and strengthen coping skills that we’ve either had all along or just needed reminding of.

  • Finally, therapy can really clear out the cobwebs or pull away the wool from our eyes so we can see clearer about what is truly important for us and our overall wellness.

Just from that list, one could see that anyone could take advantage from having a good therapist. When I am confronted with a client who now feels somewhat tense about their own therapist going to therapy, I explain those points and it dismisses a few of those nerves. We can all gain from being able to clear our minds and set our hearts at ease through the process of therapy and with the guidance and perspective of a good therapist. There is no shame in needing help. 


By Léah Almilli, AMFT

I believe everyone has a right to be heard and feel comfortable in their own space. My methodology to the therapeutic practice is eclectic and I consider each client to be the guide in their own progression. I offer a holistic, client-centered approach to the process, allowing the person the opportunities to discover how their pasts can lead into their futures. 

I have a passion for working with people of all ages, including children, teens, young adults, adults, couples/families, and people navigating all stages and phases of their lives. My therapy rooms are always non-judgmental and compassionate to ensure that the clients can feel safe to explore what is needed.

I am a member of the American Association of Marriage and Family Therapists (AAMFT), the California Association of Marriage and Family Therapists (CAMFT), and I am fluent in American Sign Language.

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treatment Judy McGehee, LMFT treatment Judy McGehee, LMFT

Why being a therapist is better for me than being almost anything else

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I heard a Minister, when I was about 14 years old, who really set a fire in my soul. He talked about humanity, and the need for folks to help each other in life.

My jobs were being a mom, a secretary, an aide to children in school, and a “parent advocate” but eventually, the call to be a therapist was strong. It took hours, years, to get through school to learn this trade/ministry/service.

In this service of being a therapist, it encompasses counseling, addiction counseling, play therapy, relationship building with families and couples, and helping those in need. I get to help folks work on mindfulness, person-hood, mental health, spirituality, emotions, principles, anxiety, philosophy, self-worth, and their place in the community and world.

I’ve learned through the years this "therapist gig" is what I was called to do, and this by far is the most rewarding career, personally, to me. Good colleagues, clients who want to make life long changes in their lives, or just a small change - to be happier and more fulfilled in their work.

Something that matters to me a lot is that this is a great way to create something that can be quickly be passed on to others. My heart lights up when I am able to supervise younger folks who also want to be therapists - no matter what the age, right out of a Master’s Program and in their 20’s, or those who have a second or third career, and enter this magnificent arena.

 I have had great therapists too, one in high school during a very dark time in my life, and one in my 30’s. These two women had helped me’ in very different ways but they helped me and I wanted to help others as they had.

 The act of sitting and facing a client, and the interactions and conversations, are more than just a friend across the table, but a communion of minds and hearts mending trauma, bringing forth a sense of hope to the client and a willingness to reach and grow in life.

 I am grateful to have been doing this work for the last 35 years. And also grateful that I do a job that I feel passionate about, in the service of others.


By Judy McGehee, LMFT

Judy McGehee, LMFT, works out of the Riverside office at Central Counseling Services. She is passionate about helping people. Judy is understanding, kind and has a good ear for just listing. She feels that therapy can help if we are willing to try. To talked to Judy call us to set up an appointment.

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Quality of life, treatment, Mindfulness Léah Almilli Quality of life, treatment, Mindfulness Léah Almilli

The Power of Human Touch

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How many of you can recall when you would hurt yourself when you were young?  Perhaps falling while playing or taking a spill off your bike?  For some, although the hurt caused a tear or two to fall, the best thing about it was when our favorite loved adult would “kiss it to make it better”.  Often, we wouldn’t even need a Band-Aid or a visit to the doctor like we so desperately claimed.  What was wanted was that squeeze after the Band-Aid, that high-five after the tears, even simply sitting next to our loved one and feeling them there - that touch from that other person with whom we were close and loved held and carried a healing power. 

Children who are struggling with attachment disorders, people who have been victims of sexual assault or rape, and similarly, folks who battle with various levels of anxiety can benefit from the healing power of touch.  It is often assumed that it is babies who primarily benefit from touch and mainly from their mothers (or primary caregivers).  And, while this still holds truth, there are so many other opportunities that can provide healing.  Just a few examples are pain reduction, creating safer spaces, improve relationships between not just couples but also other dyads (siblings, parent/child, etc.).  Research has even shown that when a child is struggling in school, a small, simple touch on their shoulder from their teacher can provide just the right amount of encouragement to allow the child to begin to soar in their studies. 

Here are 4 simple reasons to consider the powerful, healing properties of the human touch:

1: Touch releases a chemical in our brains called oxytocin.  This chemical is like the cuddle switch.  When touch is wanted or desired, oxytocin is released.  Just 20 seconds of affectionate touching is enough to reduce our stress hormone and increase our cuddle hormone.  This can manifest safer spaces and increase trust, as well. 

2: When stress levels due to trauma or anxiety are at an all time high, our ability to experience what may seem to be compassion is muddled; especially when it is brought to us through only the spoken word.  It may seem silly but when words fail, touch may be the answer.  Touch can trigger our vagus nerve (the nerve that runs from the brain to the belly, passing the heart along the way), thus allowing us to be receptive to and to respond with compassion.

3: Not only can touch allow us to feel compassion, it also reduces stress.  Our stress hormone, cortisone, increases when we experience anxiety, trauma, stress from taking a test, falling off our bikes, etc.  A touch, even one that happens by accident, can reduce that stress hormone and lower blood pressure.  This means a happier heart.  Image the anxiety beginning to creep in because of a memory that has begun to invade your thoughts.  You are walking around work or school and can’t seem to calm it down.  Someone needs to walk past you and, gently, presses their hand on your arm to excuse themselves around you.  That one slight touch is just enough to not only distract you from your thoughts but also to decrease that cortisone that is about to sky high.

4: Touching between couples can increase trust, promote communication, and can improve relationship satisfaction.  Even the simple act of holding hands while watching a movie or hugging for just 20 seconds before leaving for work can begin to create that bond between couples.  This bond can be the foundation in which trust is rebuilt, safety is re-established, and communication is opened.

Everyone has a built in need to be touched, and yes, from birth.  However, it does not end once we reach a specific age.  It is a life-long desire for touch.  When it is practiced appropriately and respectfully, the human touch can be powerful healing aspect of the human experience.


By Léah Almilli

Is an Associate Marriage and Family Therapist. She works with children as young as 6 and adults as old as 88. She is fluent in American Sign Language and she teaches ASL at the local community college. Léah like to help people grow and feel better about themselves. Léah offers a holistic, client-centered approach to the process, allowing each person the opportunities to discover how their pasts can lead into their futures. Léah makes her therapy rooms warm, welcoming, non-judgmental, and compassionate to ensure that the clients can feel safe to explore what is needed.

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treatment, Feeling better, Quality of life Judy McGehee, LMFT treatment, Feeling better, Quality of life Judy McGehee, LMFT

A Therapy Session, What’s it Really Like.

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I am a working therapist, and I would like to share with you what it’s like to see clients. Therapists generally work the same way; however, each therapist works slightly different, adding their own personality and style. Through the years, I’ve created my own way of working with clients that I have found to be highly successful.

After the initial phone call,  an intake session is scheduled. In this session, we speak about what the problem is, how it is affecting your life, how I might help you, and together we develop a plan.

Sometimes clients ask, “How are you different from bouncing ideas off my friends and family.” 

First of all, family and friends can be great to bounce ideas off of, but because they love you and want good things for you sometimes they do not provide you with the truth, can be overly harsh or want you to do what they want.  I’m not family, nor am I a friend and that fact gives me the ability to look at what is going on as a neutral third party. Additionally, I have many years of specific training and experience to help people with all sorts of bothersome problems quickly and effectively.

Therapists are bound by laws and state regulation to protect your information by keeping it confidential (there are a couple of exceptions by law) but mostly what you say in therapy stays in therapy.  Sometimes friends accidentally share your secrets.

Therapists do not advise as friends do, but therapists allow you to talk out your feelings, help identify the behaviors that are causing you problems, and create a strategy for making changes. Therapists are also able to determine if your concerns might be physical, sometimes depression and other mental health issues start with some physical problems that you may not be aware of. 

Therapists have spent years gaining experiences in the practice of counseling and often gain over 3000 hours before they can work independently. Then, of course, there are two state exams that therapists must pass before they can sit in the room with you. Your family and friends not so much.

Therapists also get specialized training, for example, I have personally have training in adolescent drug and alcohol recovery, inpatient and outpatient therapy; and I have also experience working at a boy’s home, and a psychiatric hospital. These experiences have given me the opportunity to use different types of therapeutic interventions, i.e., CBT, DBT, Solution Focus, Play Therapy, Trauma-Focused, among others.

You can choose a therapist through your insurance company, or perhaps by word of mouth, or by searching therapists websites.  In California,  a professional organization called California Association Of Marriage and Family Therapists, (CAMFT) has a list of therapists.

I seem to have many referrals through the years by word of mouth – the nicest of referrals.  It means former clients trusted me, felt they were helped by our work together.  We discussed family issues, working in a business with family members, addiction issues, parent-child issues, children who were adopted and struggling with “who they are, where they came from.”

Each session is a problem-solving session.  You talk about your current situation, and your therapist uses their expertise to help you in trying to resolve the problem. Also, remember all our conversations are confidential.

Some therapists like to give homework in between sessions so that you can practice in real life the new skills and the time in between sessions you can think about what you’d like to discuss in the next session.  Your therapist might make some suggestions about what you might do in between sessions to feel better, i.e., exercise three times a week for 15 minutes outside in the sun. Most clients start therapy weekly, and then as confidence grows, skills increase, emotions are in check, and the problems start to be resolved, the sessions may change to bi-monthly, then monthly. 

Therapy should not be for forever but used when certain problems arise that make it hard for you to function in your daily life.

Some clients find that they come to therapy for six months to a year and then go about living their lives.  When new problems pop up, or they feel overwhelmed, they come back for a check-in, learn new skills and end therapy quickly. It all depends on the problems and how disabling it is to you.    

B.G. Collins summed up my feeling of being a therapist best he said;

“Most grateful for the job I choose.”

As you can see, there are a few major differences between advice from family and friends or a therapist. If you are struggling with any life problem give me a call and let’s chat about the work, we can do together.


By Judy McGehee, LMFT

My passion is working with children, teens, adults and couples, who want to build meaning in their lives. Building trust, intimacy, and companionship are most important to me as a therapist.

My relationship in counseling began about 35 years ago in working with families in church settings,in schools, and addiction treatment centers.. I became licensed in 1995, and have found this is the profession I thrive in, and wish for my clients the richness and relationships they are seeking from therapy.

I have also worked in,psychiatric hospitals, and children's centers, and believe my career has been embellished through each and every client I have had the privilege of working with.

I also enjoy being a Clinical Supervisor, and have had the honor of mentoring over 495 Interns/Associates since 1997. I received my Master's Degree from Phillips Graduate Institute, I am a member of the California Association of Marriage and Family Therapists (CAMFT) and enjoy the membership of three local chapters of CAMFT.

I look forward to working with you in the future at CCS.

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Feeling better, Quality of life, treatment Regina Kennedy, LMFT Feeling better, Quality of life, treatment Regina Kennedy, LMFT

2019 Do You Need a Change?

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I noticed a lot of clients talked about changes they would like to make for 2019, but they did not have a starting point on how to make them happen. This led me to make a list of top 10 don’ts to begin 2019 on the right foot. This will allow you to unleash your potential, be open to allow positive changes to unfold and overall improve your life.  This is what we all want…right? Do remember that we are all works in progress, do not be disappointed in you if you can’t stay on track. Just keep trying and eventually you can do it. I see my clients making very small changes that lead to a large positive impact. Small changes are easier to do and stick with over time. Also make sure you do only one or two at a time as doing to many at one time can set you up to fail, however, by incorporating some of these changes in your daily routines you will see the change you desire. I hope you have the best year ever.

  1. Don't be afraid to follow your dreams. Dream big!

  2. Don't be a people pleaser.

  3. Don't spend time with the wrong people.

  4. Don't gossip about others.

  5. Don't live a life that others expect of you, live a life true to you.

  6. Don't start pointless drama because of your personal insecurities.

  7. Don't do anything that doesn't feel right.

  8. Don't be afraid to spend time alone.

  9. Don't compare yourself to others. You are only in competition with you

  10. Don't hold onto things you can’t control.

If these seem a bit too hard, I can help you develop a plan and help you stick to it. That is what therapy is for to help you with the hard stuff. Remember I believe in you. If you would like to work with me or one of my fantastic colleagues give me call. 2019 is too important to feel stuck.  

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by Regina Kennedy, LMFT

I became a therapist because I want to help people who want to change their lives. I am a compassionate, direct and interactive therapist. I value optimism, truth, and authenticity.

My therapeutic approach is warm, but always direct and honest to provide support and practical feedback to help clients effectively address their treatment goals. I offer a highly personalized approach, tailored to each client's unique needs. My specialties include working with Adults, children and adolescents, families, crisis intervention, and substance abuse. I am Certified as a Substance Abuse Counselor.

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Feeling better, Quality of life, treatment Regina Kennedy, LMFT Feeling better, Quality of life, treatment Regina Kennedy, LMFT

Self-Care

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As a licensed therapist I noticed a lot of my clients were perplexed when I asked them about their self-care practices.  That led me to write this blog. Neglecting yourself doesn't make you better at caring for others, self-care does. It gives you the resilience and positivity necessary to pour into others without acrimony and antipathy.  Usually self-care brings up thoughts of extravagant vacations or spa days. I'm here to tell you that self-care is much easier than that.

Self-care is:

  1. Getting a good night’s sleep restores cognitive functions.

  2. Stop trying to please everyone.

  3. Setting boundaries and knowing that you are setting boundaries to protect yourself and not to benefit others.

  4. Exercising at least 3 days a week improves happiness.

  5. Eat well. Carbohydrates aid in the release of endorphins.

  6. Laugh more, it strengthens the immune system and boosts energy.

  7. Learn to sit with yourself, reading, watching Netflix, or listen to music.

  8. Disengage from toxic people and relationships.

  9. Cut out words or pictures from a magazine, write about the meaning to you in a journal.  Example a picture of a 2019 Lexus, this is my future car. Dream!

  10. Take time at the end of your day and write down what you’re grateful for.

I bet if you think about it you may have self-care skills that you do include in your life; sometimes. I am encouraging you to include self-care daily. Write down a few that your really enjoy. Maybe it’s that hot bath with lots of bubbles or that morning run. It doesn’t matter what you choose, it only matters that you do.

If you are having difficulty with your self-care or need help with other problems that are getting in the way of your self-care, call me or one of the therapists on my team and let’s begin the most important work for you.


by Regina Kennedy, LMFT

I became a therapist because I want to help people who want to change their lives. I am a compassionate, direct and interactive therapist. I value optimism, truth, and authenticity.

My therapeutic approach is warm, but always direct and honest to provide support and practical feedback to help clients effectively address their treatment goals. I offer a highly personalized approach, tailored to each client's unique needs. My specialties include working with Adults, children and adolescents, families, crisis intervention, and substance abuse. I am Certified as a Substance Abuse Counselor.

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