What’s wrong with wanting things to be perfect?

Have you already started to feel the pressure of hosting for the holidays? Or maybe you just want

your dish to be the absolute best? Even staying home and trying to salvage the holiday spirit can

be challenging for someone struggling with perfectionism. Most of us want to make a good

impression, but this is not the same as wanting to be perfect.

While doing your personal best is a great goal, it is possible to reach unrealistic expectations, as

in expecting flawlessness. While some people with the condition of OCD might strive for

perfection, perfectionism itself is not a condition. Perfectionism is a personality trait. For many,

doing their personal best is a sign of success and healthy determination, but for some the feelings

of disappointed for anything less than exceptional can be daunting.

Perfectionism is exhausting! You might find yourself starting over completely regardless of how

many compliments you receive. It feels like a never-ending race because the finish line is always

being moved every time a new idea or criticism pops into your mind.

In, The Gifts of Imperfection, psychologist and professor Brené Brown explains that “Shame is

the birthplace of perfectionism.” Meaning that the goal of perfectionism can be to avoid feeling

judgement and trying to earn someone’s approval. The perfectionism is meant to cover up our

own insecurities by not letting them see the real us.

So, how do you fight this desire to be perfect? Allow yourself to be enough just as you are.

Rather than focus on being perfect, focus on being the best version of you. That is enough! There

is no competition. Your value is not determined by how much others approve of you or are

impressed by you.

Here is a list of statements and suggestions you can try if you’re struggling with perfectionism

• “I can accept that others believe I have done a great job, even if it is hard for me to agree.”

• “Thoughts are just thoughts – they’re not necessarily true or factual”

• “This is difficult and uncomfortable, but it’s only temporary”

• What would I say to a friend if they were in this position?

• Ask someone you trust for an objective opinion

• Pointing out all of the things that you did like about your project/performance

Check out https://hbr.org/2019/04/how-to-manage-your-perfectionism for more tips on how to

overcome your perfectionism. *Non-Affiliate link*