Need a A Push To Start Therapy?

17 Inspirational Quotes to Motivate YOU to Start Therapy Today

Contemplating therapy? Thinking about picking up the phone is the first step in your journey towards emotional wellness. Sometimes we just need a little something extra to help us become excited and invested in committing to change. We hope one of the following quotes will resonate with you and give you the courage you need to take the next step.

1. There is no greater agony than bearing an untold story inside you--Maya Angelou

2. When we talk about our feelings, they become less overwhelming, less upsetting, and less scary--Fred Rogers

3. If the only tool you have is a hammer, you tend to see every problem as a nail--Abraham Maslow

4. My potential is unlimited--Success Mantra

5. You can't change how people treat you or what they say about you. All you can do is change how you react to it--Unknown

6. Until you make the unconscious conscious, it will direct your life and you will call it fate--Carl Jung

7. Procrastination is one of the most common and deadliest diseases and it's toll on success and happiness is heavy--Wayne Gretsky

8. All great changes are preceded by chaos--Deepak Chopra

9. When we are no longer able to change a situation, we are challenged to change ourselves--Viktor Frankl

10. Nothing will work unless you do--Maya Angelou

11. In any given moment, we have two options: to step forward into growth or to step back into safety--Abraham Maslow

12. Discovering the truth about ourselves is a lifetime's work, but it's worth the effort--Fred Rogers

13. The future depends on what you do today--Mahatma Ghandi

14. I'm not telling you it's going to be easy. I'm telling you it's going to be worth it--Art Williams

15. Success is the sum of small efforts, repeated day in and day out--Robert Collier

16. The secret to change is to focus all of your energy, not on fighting the old, but on building the new--Dan Millman

17. And you? When will you begin the long journey into yourself?--Rumi

We hop we have inspired you to let us walk with you on your path. We want to help you make that first step. Call us today1

What Does Your Dash Say About You?

The other day I was at a funeral and the speaker was talking about the dash between the date of birth and the date of death. His premise was that a person’s date of birth and date of death was just the marking of a specific time and was really unimportant in the scheme of life. The speaker went on to say what’s really important was the dash in between the dates. For that dash, is where all the years of life reside. That dash represents years of friendship, wining that sports game, learning to drive, graduations and other great joys like getting married, the birth of your children or your children get their first job. That dash could also represent the sadness of a death of a love one, a divorce or a failed business.  But really that dash is about the how you handle each and every moment. Are you living for the moment and enjoying the lessons that your life is trying teaching you?  These moments create texture and substance to our lives. That dash brings experiences that bring meaning, passion and sustenance to our lives. The dash is not about busyness or filling our days with meaningless tasks. That dash means finding your passion, enjoying your life and striving to be the best you, you can be. That dash means filling your days with friends and family that love and support you. It’s about giving back to our communities and helping others in need, it smiling at your neighbor, it taking the extra time to help in your child’s classroom. That little dash maybe small but it really has great significance for each and every one of us and we must not forget that, not even for a moment. What will your dash say about you?  

What will your Dash say about you?

5 Easy Depression Buster

Depression is often defined as a feeling of hopelessness, loss of energy that nothing matters or you’re not good enough.  For people that suffer mild depression engaging in the activities listed can help renew your energy and lift your spirits.

Even a simple walk can help with depression

Top 5  Easy Depression Busters:

1.      Take a walk even as little as 10 minutes as been shown to increase one’s mood. Aim for 30 minutes every day.  Do have time? The good news is the minutes can add up so take three 10 minute breaks if you just can’t fit it all in at once.

2.      Watch a comedy. Laughter release endorphins in the brain that make you feel good and provide sense of wellbeing. Laughter also reduces stress and can even increase your immune system. Laughter also adds happiness and joy to our lives.

3.      Get enough sleep. Aim for 7-8 hours of sleep a night. Sleep effects everything in our lives, it regulates hormone production, provides us with mental alertness, emotional balance and creativity.  Sleep is restorative to the body and helps with repairing cell damaged caused during the day.

4.      Spend time with friends and loved ones. Social interactions help us live longer and happier lives. Telling your best friend about your day reduces the stress hormones and promotes feelings of being supported and understood.

5.      Get a little light, sunlight that is. Sunlight is essential to a healthy lifestyle. Not enough can make the depression worse. We needs a little each day. So take your walk outside, enjoy a lunch with a friend in the garden a little goes a long way.

This may sound simple but little changes really do add up. Our body and mind are meant to move and the movement adds with hormones that make our bodies happier. Try the about for at least a two weeks and let us know what helped you.

Anticipatory Grief

Grief and loss doesn't start after your loved one has died. It begins when the realization becomes real that their death is approaching, whether far in the future from a long-term illness, or when a death occurs with little notice. In the ER, the ICU, at home… when that realization happens grief begins. It’s called “anticipatory grief” but, in reality, it’s grief, with all its emotion and sadness.

In the time before death occurs, there are things that need to be considered, both from the loved one’s perspective and to address your concerns. This will address the dying person’s needs. I’ll follow it with a blog about your needs as you support your loved one.

What Does A Dying Person Need at that point?

·       The need to “settle up” with the people so as to die in peace, with them and with myself.

Settling up emotional accounts

All of us have unfinished business left over from our years on Earth. Approaching death is the last time to make amends, check in, or say the things that have been left unsaid.

If someone can’t be reached, letters can be left, and even dictated. Elaborate isn't necessary. Peace for the person dying is.

·       An advocate for their end of life decisions

End of life decisions need to be written well in advance of the dying process. They aren't valid if you aren't of sound mind without a doubt.

Enforcing a living will or other decision making documents can be difficult if there is division in the family.

It’s hard to not provide hydration of nutrition if it’s been days or weeks. Someone has to ensure the dying person’s wishes are followed. That may have to be you.

·       The environment the dying person desires

Some people are extroverts, even when dying. Some are private, even if the family wants access. The dying person should have the kind of environment they lived with and following their wishes. And someone has to ensure it happens.

Things to consider:

•  music 
•   TV or movies
•   Bedroom or living room 
•   Home or hospital
•  Family 
•   Friends
•  Pets
•  Spiritual folks
• Lighting
•   Scents

·       A safe space to talk or a safe person to talk to about death

Family and friends are often reluctant to face up to the reality of the terminal illness and death: even if they are not, their experience is not the experience of the dying person. If they are still capable of talking, they may need someone to talk to about their fears and terrors, hopes and vulnerability. It may not be family. It may be a nurse, a friend… it’s up to the person who needs to do the talking. They don’t need their decision to create conflict. It’s their decision.

·       Spiritual support- or NO spiritual support.

Some find it comforting. Some find it presumptuous to assume they need spiritual support. Some do not have a faith they rely upon or believe. The dying person needs, and deserves, to have their needs followed at this point. If family needs to listen to religious music, say prayers, light incense… no matter- if it’s not something the patient wanted or participated in, it belongs outside the door. It’s the patient’s death- nobody else’s.

·       Pain management/comfort measures

A dying person deserves to have pain and discomfort resolved. They may not be able to tell you what they are feeling, but their body can to some degree. Blood pressure, fever, grimacing, tightened muscles, low oxygen saturation, irregular breathing. Those and so many more are indicators of the patient’s body being uncomfortable. Can you fix the breathing? Probably not. But you can add oxygen. You can administer pain medications and anxiety meds through sublingual administration. You can add a subQ IV to administer meds without adding fluids that could create respiratory distress. You can massage. Make the bed softer. Use a cool washcloth. Turn on a fan. Add a blanket.

Families tend to be especially distressed about morphine and other meds. They are not going to kill a dying person. They make the muscles relax so breathing is less stressed. They relieve pain. If your loved one has asked for comfort measures, they don’t want to die in pain. Allow the medical professionals to guide you. Ask questions.

·       Food? Fluids?

At the end of life, the body has a process of its own as the systems shut down. It no longer needs food. It doesn't thirst. The mouth may need moistening. Oral care is still necessary. But if a dying person says they don’t want food or fluids- believe them. It’s hard to watch. You are still hungry. You are still thirsty. They are not. Honor their body and their needs. Forcing fluids can cause choking and even pneumonia, hastening death.

·       Visions supported

Many people who are dying will report that they are seeing loved ones who died before now, or angels.  Don’t question or deny that. There have been studies that say they may be caused by hypoxia or changes in brain chemistry. The studies, however, cannot include dying people. We don’t know this experience. We do know it’s common and brings comfort. Tell them you are glad they are there.

o   Your voice

The last sense to die is hearing. If your loved one would want you there, talk to them. To the end.  

o   Permission

This is most likely the hardest of all. No matter the disease or the pain, very few of us really want our loved one to really die. The fact is they are going to die. Tell them it’s ok. Tell them you’ll be ok; you’ll take care of business they left behind; you’ll carry their memory. Tell them what you will miss most and how much you loved them. But tell them they can go.

It’s not easy to sit while someone you love is dying. It’s a gift if you can.

Take a swing.

“Never let the fear of striking out keep you from coming up to bat.”

Babe Ruth

April is baseball month to me; it’s the first month that I am able to catch a game at the local ball field. I know that spring training has happen and to many fans that is the start of baseball but to me it’s when the teams are ready to show off at their home field; opening day signals the start of baseball season and anticipation that comes each year. It’s the start of the possibility that is exciting for me. It’s looking down at the future and making the predictions based on the statistics; plus add in a little heart and determination. Some have even said that when teams are otherwise equal it’s their passion, heart and pure determination that will carry the team.  I believe this.

In my work with people, often times they come into my office feeling defeated, sad, depressed, anxiety ridden and they have lost their passion for life or they have become derailed in addiction or making wrong choices that they just get lost.  One of the first things I ask them is “What do you want your life to look like?” “How would your life look if everything was going well?” Sometimes people do not have an answer to these questions. Other times they have a good idea but they fear thinking ahead because they feel they have always been a failure and why bother. Or even worse “I can’t.” Sometimes we have to learn how to pick ourselves up and stop shaming our self. Self-shame can motivate a person into action but I see self-shame mostly being used to validate a person’s feeling of not being worthy. Therefore, I really see no great reason to continuing to using self-shame as our assessment tool. It has proven that it is more damaging to us then helpful.

Let’s instead focus on the action needed to get ourselves moving. I would suggest sitting down once a week and really ask yourself “How is my life going? “What am I doing that is working well.” Go ahead list all the strengths you can find. I will even give you one to start with; wright this down:

Strengths: You are reading this blog and you have thought that maybe I can move my life in a forward direction.

I would agree with your assessment you can move forward. Next I would sit down and write out a prefect day. Your perfect day. Yes, dream how would you like your life to be? Would you be in the job you’re in? The relationship you’re in?   If not, start to take steps to get closer to that goal each day, each week, and each year. Even if you only do one thing a week for a year that is still 52 steps towards your goal. Write it all down. If it doesn’t get on paper your brain can’t start to work on it in helping you push towards those goals. Yes, you deserve to be happy and enjoy your life. Start stringing together your perfect day one after another and before you know it your life will be mostly what you want each and every day. Will it take hard work, yup, but everything in life takes hard work, determination and passion. Put fear on the back burner. I know easier said than done. However, it can be done, yes it can. I see change happening each and every day; I do, I really do. So don’t wait any longer start on that 52 step journey and let me know how it is going along the way.

How To Help When Some Is Dying

What do families need when a loved one is dying?

What have you needed in the past? ________________________

The basics:

o   Rest

o   Nutrition

o   Disengaging with outside demands

o   Help with responsibilities

o   Time to cry and grieve as death is occurring

o   Help with kids being impacted if needed

o   A support system of your choice

o   Not to have people present you don’t want there- if you are the primary and your loved one does not want or need them there.

o   A comfortable chair at the bedside

The biggest? Education about what is happening.

o   Do you know what to expect?

o   Does your family?

o   Does your loved one?

What do you understand about the dying process?

What do you understand about the comfort care interventions?

Does anyone think that CPR should be initiated?

Do you have a safe place to talk with someone in confidence?

To vent?

Can you give yourself permission to take a break and leave the room?

Do you need spiritual support?

Has advance planning been done for:

o   Funeral care?

o   Obituary?

o   Cemetery?

o   Are clothes picked out for the deceased leaving the house or hospital?

o   Have you considered wanting to help bathe and dress afterward?

o   Have you set limits on others (if you are primary) regarding removing “stuff?” If you’re not primary, has it been discussed?

o   Do you know who to call after the death occurs?

     What’s the business end of death at the time of death?

If you are at home: Call hospice if they are involved, or emergency if not

Hospital/SNF : They will call you if you’re not there

 For all: You will need a mortuary provider

If the coroner has to be involved, they may take the deceased initially, then release to the provider.

NOK need to be listed with phone numbers and addresses.

If there is a POA that should list who may make decisions. If not, the mortuary can tell you the order of priority for decision makers. If the decision making falls to adult children, 51% must sign for arrangements.

The mortuary prepares the death certificate- it’s not yours to deal with. Keep that off your plate. You have enough

If you are interring/burying you will need to purchase a plot.

If you have a pre-paid arrangements, there will still be costs that can’t be included and will need to be paid.

Most survivors in the immediate time after a death have difficulty with good judgment, but may not know it. Some suggestions:

·       Do not drive

·       Eat even if you aren’t hungry

·       Lay down even if you can’t sleep

·       Let the professionals help: your funeral director can order flowers and help with sites for services and receptions, and even caterers.  They frequently have discounts made available they pass on to you (unless they are a large chain, such as “Dignity/SCI.”)

·       Family owned mortuaries are almost always less expensive, and offer discounts chains do not allow.

·       Allow others to help, but don’t relinquish your needs being met in terms of the service or anything else.

·       Don’t allow anyone to dispose of clothes, sheets, etc. unless you or the primary survivor are ready.

·       Arrange for someone to watch the house during the service

·       Cremations can be witnessed, but you need to decide of that’s something you want to see.

·       Don’t expect anything from yourself until you feel ready. Immediate grief is a tough time, even if you thought you were ready.