The three levels of Monitoring Your Children
When it is your time to “watch the kids” it can be exhausting and overwhelming; often keeping you from placing your mind on other things. The real problem is that when it IS your turn… your mind SHOULD be placed ON THE KIDS; rather than your own agenda.
To make this easier, I have a tip that might take the edge off.
Supervision does not take laser-focused intensity: nor does it take exhausting yourself with keeping them entertained. It calls for three levels of monitoring. Each of these levels is necessary; for them AND for you. In order for you to not drive each other “crazy”. Plus the child receives the full benefit of autonomy and parental interaction!
First Level: Monitor from a distance. This allows independent activity for them and the opportunity for you to sit (one of my favorite things, next to crawling in bed). All you do is keep an eye out for trouble in the form of strangers, accidents, and conflicts with peers. This is the time for you to do something like phone calls. Something that can be accomplished without having to take your eyes off your children. This form of supervision encourages creative, independent thought and resiliency.
Second Level: Be a cheerleader. This brings you in (Yes, you have to actually get up and move closer to them.) close enough to laugh with them as they enjoy themselves, encourage them when they are learning a new skill, and intervene if they get in a jam. It also allows you to get to know the other kids that may be around. This is helpful to encourage shy children and build self-esteem.
Third Level: Interactive Parallel-Play (sitting with and doing the same thing, but separately, while monitoring for behavior and safety.) or Cooperative Play (working on the same project, game, or activity together, while monitoring for behavior and safety.). Get in there with them! Climb, pretend, twirl, swing, color, but, most importantly… interact! DO NOT nag, chide, complain, fuss or insult them! Nobody likes having their feelings hurt and nobody likes a fun-sucker! Have fun with them, at their level!
Share in their world of imagination and play. It is a rich, rewarding world that is just as important, and meaningful, as yours! This step encourages bonding and often we transmit our family and personal values to our children as we play.
Play is good for all of us.
My hope is that you take pleasure in monitoring your little ones, learning their ins and outs, and playing with them. They will thrive and grow stronger knowing that you take joy in the time you spend with them!